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Five Things I Think I Think About the Miami Dolphins - Week 16

My spirit got run over by a reindeer

Green Bay Packers v Miami Dolphins Photo by Eric Espada/Getty Images

I sense there’s something in the wind
That feels like tragedy’s at hand
Can’t shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

— Sally’s Song, The Nightmare Before Christmas

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas always looks as a Dolphins fan

It’s beginning to look a lot like the Fins
Won’t make the playoffs
They’ve now lost four games in a row
Even though we all know
They should have won, their schedule’s pretty soft

It’s beginning to look a lot like the Fins
I have grown to loathe
Control their own destiny
Then flop on their face, you see
That’s the way she goes

A team that can play the same way each Sunday
Is the wish of all of us fans
To melt in the lights every meaningful night
Is making everyone wan
It’s becoming just too much for my brain to withstand

It’s beginning to look a lot like the Fins
Will reap what they’ve sown
Buying players like it’s the year
For a Superbowl to be here
Leaves a future on loan

Sunday was a Silent Night for Tua supporters

Silent night
Lonely night
Dolphins lose
In the lights
Of a prime time match in December
Tua’s three picks were the game ender
Tua threw it to Green Bay
Tua threw it away

Silent night
Not his night
He must learn
To improvise
A timing system with no timing sucks
Extending plays will make you big bucks
Call some audibles please
Change the play just for me

Silent night
Bummer night
Two minutes
To win it
No timeouts, in position to shut
All of the mouths of his critics, but
Instead he was a goat
Not the GOAT, just a goat

Up On the Housetop, the defense does what it can

Outside playing football in the cold
This Dolphins defense is old
Could have used Needham and both the Jones’
To not leave Kohou back there alone
Catch the ball
X catch the ball
Oh my God
Can’t get to Rodgers or make a pick
Grabbed the wrong Chubb, shoulda gone for Nick

In the middle of the Fin’s D line
Wilkins is having a grand old time
Blowing up run plays and batting balls
If only that was true for them all
It’s 4th, so
Green Bay will go
4th and Goal
Green Bay will go
Out of my eye runs a single tear
Josh Boyer probs will be gone next year

Do You Hear What I Hear? It sounds like another late season collapse

Said my friends as they watched the game with me
Do you hear what I hear?
Blowing leads, failing little things
Sadness is what I hear
Special teams
Playing terribly
And wasting some timeouts early
Always wasting timeouts early

Said my talking dog looking up at me
Do you see what I see?
Why yes, talking dog, talking normally
I do see what you see
Marcedes Lewis on the screen
His last catch in 2003
He was born in 1913

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer might not be the only guy glowing red after the year’s end

(It could be MM and his hot seat? You got that, right? Shut up. It’s Christmas.)

You know Flores and Philbin and Wannstedt and Saban
Gase and Sparano and Campbell and Cameron
But do you recall
The most best haired Fins coach of all?

Little Mikey McDaniel
Has some very shiny toys
And if you didn’t know it
You’d think they’re the only boys
On the Miami Dolphins
When the plays are third and short
He doesn’t let his QB
Scout the D and then abort

On this foggy Christmas Eve
His toys came to play
Jaylen and Tyreek were great
The rest fell right out the gate

Miami needs more coaches
Who can help with calling plays
Little Mikey McDaniel
Needs to learn from this today

Did the Dolphins ruin your entire holiday? It’s just a game, Focker. Here’s to ‘new year, new Dolphins’. Or just the Dolphins from the beginning of this year. You know; something better. Throw a tantrum in the comments below.