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A Very 2021 NFL Draft Drinking Game

Things are on the upswing in our society. No matter how you look at it, we’re in a much more uplifting place, in terms of being able to go outside and enjoy life, than we were last year at this time. The NFL had their season last year and didn’t miss any games, which I don’t think should be a surprise to anyone. It didn’t matter if practice squad receivers were being asked to be starting quarterbacks. The NFL can’t be stopped thus the NFL Draft is a force that can never be shaken.

Last year, Roger Goodell did the draft from his living room and none of the players got to shake his hand or chest bump him (thanks again Christian Wilkins) into another galaxy. This year the NFL draft is back at a venue in the very real city of Cleveland and there will be actual former collegiate athletes attending.

This draft promises to be fascinating due to all the quarterbacks that are going to go in the 1st round which in turn affects several other team’s strategies on how they’re going to handle their own draft. The Miami Dolphins are not immune from this phenomenon. The Dolphins, currently, have the #6 pick in the draft and a lot about who they’re going to select will be decided by what the Atlanta Falcons do with the #4 pick. Do the Falcons take a QB, take Kyle Pitts(hope not), or do they trade out of it to a team that wants Fields, Lance, or Jones? Hard to say.

So over the past few seasons, I have created a drinking game for the NFL Draft. I feel it’s a helpful tool to enhance anybody’s draft experience assuming that you’re of legal drinking age. Also, goes without saying though I’m going to say it anyway, don’t be a jerk and drink and drive. Given the current state of our society, you shouldn’t have too many good reasons to be driving anyways. But, don’t be a moron and think drinking and driving is a good plan, especially if you adhere to the rules of the drinking game. Be smart. That being said, onto the rules of the 202l NFL Drinking Game.

Drink Once...

  • If an announcer says that a guy is a workhorse/has a high motor/student of the game/leader/has intangibles you can’t teach/does well in the film or classroom/is fiery/freak athlete/a project
  • If anyone mentions the term “big board”
  • If the phrases “character concerns or off the field issues” is said
  • If an announcer says the word “need” or “best player available”
  • If someone says a team is “listening to calls”
  • Every time there is a trade
  • If a player gets drafted and Kiper or McShay said that he had him as a second to third-round pick
  • If any coach, GM or, anyone’s pets make an appearance on camera
  • If and when they show a tragic, completely unnecessary story about a player’s hardship growing up that makes you say “my God why do they keep doing this?”
  • Anytime any analysts say the word “reach”

Drink Twice...

  • If an announcer uses the phrase “mortgage the future”
  • If the analysts have a discussion about Trevor Lawerence’s comments about not having a chip on his shoulder. Drink an additional two if the conversation goes over 3 minutes
  • If they show the picture of Mac Jones with no shirt on smoking a cigar
  • If they have a conversation about why Justin Fields is not the 2nd rated QB. Drink an additional two if the conversation goes over 3 minutes
  • If they mention the amount of Alabama players drafted in recent years
  • If they mention that Chris Grier has traded the most of any GM in the last 3 seasons
  • If they mention that Trey Lance only has played 17 games in his entire FCS career and only one game last year
  • If the word “generational” gets used in any way
  • If Micah Parsons legal issues get brought up
  • If DeVonta Smith’s weight gets mentioned and the conversation goes over 2 minutes.
  • If anyone gushes over the Rams’ draft house
  • If they show Roger Goodell’s chair from last year’s draft
  • If anyone mentions that there is a lack of QBs in next year’s draft

Drink Three...

  • If anyone mentions or if they show a picture of or even mention Laremy Tunsil’s gas mask
  • If five QBs get drafted in the top 10
  • If someone mention’s that Alabama quarterbacks haven’t panned out
  • If they show someone wearing a Dawg Pound mask
  • If it gets mentioned that Zach Wilson wasn’t a captain at BYU
  • If they show footage of any player playing another sport
  • If 2 running backs go in the first round
  • If the term “Swiss Army Knife” gets mentioned
  • If they mention how Joe Thomas was fishing when he got drafted
  • If anyone says DeVonta Smith reminds them of Marvin Harrison
  • If someone says that Jaylen Waddle reminds them of Tyreek Hill
  • If anyone says that it was smart for Ja’Marr Chase and Penei Sewell to sit out last year

Finish Your Beverage...

  • If they show footage of when Aaron Rodgers or Brady Quinn sat in the green room for hours
  • If Roger Goodell gets booed in any fashion whether it’s virtual booing or his own family
  • If something happens that’s as crazy as the Laremy Tunsil gas mask situation. Use your judgment
  • If there’s a montage of Mel Kiper’s hair over the years
  • If they show or mention the time the Vikings ran out of time and missed their pick
  • If Mike Greenberg mentions his wife or that he used to cover Michael Jordan back in the 90s
  • If they mention anything about Urban Meyer’s health
  • If they show Dan Campbell doing anything hilarious such as chest-bumping any other assistants or just looking like a beast. Use your judgment here.
  • If it gets said that Tom Brady played at the same time as some of the player’s fathers such as Patrick Surtain ll, Jaycee Horn, and Asante Samuel Jr.

If you feel that there are too many rules and that it’s impossible to play this without dying, be smart about things. There’s no need to do anything out of your comfort zone. Again, play and drink responsibly, don’t even think about driving and you’ll be fine. Have yourself the best draft night you can possibly have and let's...

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