I come in peace, and all I want to do is help everyone. If you’re a Miami Dolphin’s fan, great. If you’re not, you still should listen. Whatever you do for the love of Christ, please stop falling for the ruse that is Colin Cowherd spitting out “hot takes.” Your brain and the rest of your body will thank you if you take Cowherd and the other talking heads for exactly what they are. And that’s folks that are performing theater for you. My attempt to help comes after a slew of boiling “hot takes” that Cowherd had uttered in recent days on his show on FS1.
On Wednesday, Cowherd had the Dolphins taking Justin Fields at #3 because he’s off of Tua. To be off Tua means that you need to be on Tua (we’ll get to that).
Yesterday, Cowherd and some guy named Joel Klatt (yeah, I know hundreds of thousands know who Joel Klatt compared to me, but he’s just some guy that no one really knows) turned up the heat and said the Dolphins ought to draft Trey Lance with the #3 pick.
That, in turn, got the Miami Dolphin’s fan base to collectively lose their dang mind and start freaking out about how Colin Cowherd could say such a thing.
Remember all the way back in the blog, like a few paragraphs and tweets ago. I said that Cowherd was on the Tua train? Well...
Cowherd, pre-draft 2020: Alabama QB Tua Tagovailoa was dominant in college. He is very special.— Funhouse (@BackAftaThis) March 24, 2021
Cowherd, pre-draft 2021: Mac Jones is impossible to evaluate, because he played QB at Alabama. Also, being dominant in college is meaningless. Lots of guys dominate in college. pic.twitter.com/MdHUTSDc4J
This one might be my favorite;
You could say that Cowherd has all the right in the world to change his mind after seeing Tua play more games and not, at times, look all that good as the season went on. You’d be right in that. But to go ahead and say that in those seven games after the Cardinals game that you'd be out on Tua after everything you said about him dominating college, being hooked up with the right coach to win Super Bowls, and having the instincts that others don’t is well a hair contradictory.
And that’s the point of this blog. Colin Cowherd and folks of his ilk don’t care if they’re contradictory or flat-out wrong. What matters is that they built themselves up over decades to get where they are, and they use that platform to shill sensational takes because that’s what sells on TV. If you put a person up there who calmly talks sense and says, “well, we have to see how it plays out because we can’t predict the future,” that won’t attract many viewers; thus, it won’t lead to advertising which leads to them making big money. But if you go up there day after day and go against the grain and look like a buffoon, well, then you have something folks can pass around on Twitter. I get it, I respect the grift, but I know the trick.
It’s essentially Stan explaining how Crossing Over with Jon Edwards works.
I’m not saying Cowherd is trying to convince you that he can talk to the dead, but he is trying to get you worked up about what he says on purpose.
He’s not alone. Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith, and plenty of others apply the same act. You really think Skip Bayless, truly, thinks LeBron James is an overrated basketball player or that it’s reasonable for Stephen A. Smith, a known adult, to freak out about how James Dolan kicked innocent people out of MSG as he does how Zeke Elliot is used in Dallas? You don’t think that’s a bit of a show?
The take game is a profitable one, and when you get to the level of these guys, and you don’t feel like grinding anymore, you turn to the artistry of being a wind-up artist. Business is good, and Cowherd and the rest of the talking heads will keep ramping it up, and people will fall for it. I hope that I convince a few minds reading this that you shouldn’t waste a breath or a moment analyzing how mind-numbingly dumb what they say about Tua or any player for that matter is because it is, in fact, a waste of time.
Follow me @2ndSatSports even if I get to the level of Cowherd(which I won’t), and I get the chance to make outlandish takes. Have yourself a Friday.