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Diving into the money pit of the Miami Dolphins draft picks

Now that I buttered you all up with some fun history and phantasy phun, it’s time for some currency. Not crypto, and not so much, “straight case homies,” but real actual meaningful football currency, like NFL Draft picks.

If you are Chris Grier and the Miami Dolphins looking at the treasure trove of 2020 and 2021 draft picks, it’s basically like Scrooge McDuck before his morning swim in the money pit. Forget Duck Tales, this is Draft Tales, and it’s rich as can be!

Money makes the world go ‘round, right?

Wrong.

Money gives you the ability to have nice things, do nice things, and basically succeed, right?

Wrong.

Just ask guys like Clinton Portis and those who trusted Bernie Madoff.

Whoops.

Draft Picks and money don’t equal and guarantee success in the game of football as well as life in general. It is of paramount importance what you do with those assets you have earned to call it a, “success.”

You can go blow through that dough on extravagant and unnecessary purchases, or you can be all, Christian Wilkins, and save everything you can. The rookie defensive linemen is a young man who certainly appreciates the value of a dollar, as well as Grier hopefully appreciates the value of these draft picks.

It is now not a matter of staring at the golden goose-eggs that were accumulated and pawned for. Some may hatch, some may not, and others may be very late to do either and maybe even fly the coop to another nest. However, like money, it really means absolutely nothing if you waste it, and not spend it wisely. Show me the person who invests wisely and drives domestic, versus the person who buys the six-figure import with special Orange and Aqua paint with all the bells and whistles.

In just five months, Grier & Associates will take a dive in this fortune that he accumulated as if it were pieces of fine metals and artifacts of intrinsic value like the Freemasons did from National Treasure.

Now we can call Grier Nic Cage in this equation, but the actor has had more misses at the box office than ex-general managers in Miami have had in past drafts - I can’t go on and name names - I’m sorry, but I can’t name names. It hurts too much.

What Grier is looking down at from his money pit diving board is essentially opportunity. The right way to spend money today, can set you up for decades of success tomorrow and beyond. As we have all seen and witnessed, the wrong way can reverberate for decades and cost much more than actual money. It can cost health, loyalty and overall sanity.

I’m ok, I promise. To be honest, I’m working on it.

What I would like to do now is not focus on players as if they are products on a shelf. I want to focus on the stores in which I would love Grier to shop in. Meaning, to spend wisely this draft, he need not purchase items that are already owned.

Does one really need four gold watches? There are areas of the Dolphins that may not have one Rolex, but two or three Tag’s that can easily appreciate in value in a few years.

My point is this, let us focus on not the items, but the stores in which they come from before taken home with the owner.

Let’s look at positions, as shopping in the wrong stores this season can be as frivolous as getting his and her cars when you already did that last holiday season.

Offensive Line

The most needed store to shop in is one that many people don’t love to go into. There isn’t anything fun or exciting about walking into Home Depot or Lowes to get lumber, tools, electric tape, or if you are like me and live in my house, light bulbs. My kids have this thing about never turning off lights, and it’s messing up my universe.

The point is, a casual football fan, or even a massive nut like me, may initially scoff at an early selection of a boring blocker. However, as important as those home improvement needs are, interior run blocking and pass protection on a football team is as vital as hurricane proofing your windows in late summer in Florida.

Since we are way too early to truly tag players, I will not name them, since a massive amount of scouting and analysis is still needed before marrying oneself to names.

With six picks in the top 70 selections roughly, pending on the draft order, it is vital that Miami select a stud offensive lineman. In this case, batteries that power huge tools usually come in pairs or groups, so I wouldn’t hate it if 33% of those top six picks were blockers.

Defensive Line

In Old School, Frank “The Tank,” went over his upcoming weekend with some glassy-eyed co-eds before going off the Deep End as if he were Channing Crowder running a 24-hour Fish Tank marathon.

While I don’t suggest Grier shop at Bed Bath and Beyond, there simply isn’t enough time on the clock, I’d love him to continue to peruse the Depot, and get some power tools.

This team needs a pass-rush, and with Brian Flores imploring a defensive scheme that may not scream the need for a certain skill-set, there must be freakish athletes added to not just “set an edge,” but also apply pressure and have the ability to track down the growing number of mobile quarterbacks when a pocket crumbles and a play collapses. Will a Chase Young be a “Target” of Grier’s or will he move past that premium area and head over to the discount rack and wait until those PIT/HOU picks for this one?

Regardless of the actual name at the moment, we all must expect a defensive linemen to be selected on Day 1, or at the very worst, early on Day 2.

Safety

It’s time to take the car in for a checkup and after the trunk is filled with a successful mini-mall run at the boring places, one more “have-to” stop is needed, because the light just flickered on your dashboard.

It’s service time.

The secondary needs help with Safeties, and there are a few prospects out there who can help make the overall car run smooth. Grier needs to pull into Pep Boys and come out with a safer middle-of-the defensive-backfield. Unfortunately, there was a purchase last year that did not mesh and wasn’t compatible, so there was a trade-in for credit to be used later.

Sanity dwindling...I miss you Minkah.

It is very important to add a “centerfielder” who can add to what should be a vastly improved unit next season with a healthy Xavien Howard, a developing Nik Needham, and an improving and signed, Eric Rowe.

Running Back

This is the time to get something I rarely spend a lot of money on and I will never, ever spend triple-digits on sneakers. I am a hat-head, not a sneaker-head, so this equates to running backs for me.

I am a master at finding a Nike, a New Balance, or even an Under-Armor pair of kicks at $60 or less and that should be the case with Grier and a runner in the 2nd round.

There are about five running backs I would be thrilled with in the 2nd, much like how I am ecstatic when a pair of Puma’s are sitting there at $55.

A power runner or “work-horse” must be added to “pair” with Patrick Laird, who is a change-of-pace and pass-catching threat instead of a 20+ carry a game running back.

Now that we have a fixed car loaded with home improvement needs, and we are walking more confident and comfortable with some killer Orange and Aqua shoes on sale, it’s time to make a last stop.

Quarterback time

We all know the Usual Suspects here and I will not name them because I am not marrying myself to one at the moment. Tua do that, wouldn’t be prudent and not something I would Love, because where I am Fromm, it isn’t Eason to miss on a QB. The pain of that would be like a nail Burrow-ing through my head, and news flash- this Justin – I hear hitting on a Quarterback is pretty important.

I need a nap…

After a long day of shopping and catching a Netflix movie, we can all agree that at this moment, the plan is to map out where we need to scout and source and ultimately, shop. The house is pretty well equipped at receiver, linebacker and cornerback and we have seen some very savvy bargain basement thrift-store shopping at the NFL version of an old Army-Navy store and that’s the undrafted free agent market.

After all, Preston Williams and Needham were items from that store, so going back to that register is certainly advisable with Grier’s eye.

New York Jets v Miami Dolphins Photo by Eric Espada/Getty Images

We conclude this with a hope that Grier and his associates shop in the right areas, as they have already proved that how to spend is almost as important as what you are spending it on.

Happy hunting and Happy Holiday’s, Fin Nation!