As a lifelong fan of the Miami Dolphins, going all the way back to the Stone Age of the early 1980s, I’ve learned that fandom isn’t always epic highs & euphoria. Hell, if the post-Marino era has taught us anything it’s that we as a franchise & fanbase have been mostly spoiled for the bulk of our existence thanks to the leadership of “The Don” Shula and The Right Arm of God, Dan Marino.
Since both stepped aside by the spring of 2000, the past 17 years have been about as fun as an involuntary colonoscopy thanks to poor leadership and mismanagement. Sure, we had that epic 2008 season, and a damn fine hot streak in 2016 that got short circuited by a cheap shot, but life as a Dolphins fan has been tough of late. Enter the #DolphinsDrinkingGame. What started as a sarcastic coping mechanism has manifested itself into a fun thing we can all participate in, provided we act like adults.
And now comes the part when I implore you to approach this with a sense of humor and that whole “adult responsibility” thing. First, if you’re going to partake with adult beverages, do NOT get behind the wheel. Getting yourself and/or others hurt or killed is never worth it. Call a cab, request an UBER (don’t ride share with Jameis Winston) or get a designated driver. Second, nobody is saying you have to play along with alcohol. Feel free to use whatever beverage you like - ethically sourced non-GMO coffee, Earl Grey tea or even some dank runoff from Lake Okeechobee.
Ok boys & girls, this is it! The all-important “dress rehearsal” preseason game. In a way, I’m glad it’s against the Ravens, who have been our Kryptonite for the past decade or so it seems. Seriously, they’re harder for us to beat than the Patriots. So let’s hope for the best, but above all else NO INJURIES! Cheers...