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Phinsider Meme Central: G5

Rage Against Our Machine with MOAR anger!

You already know the last game was a “kick to the nuts” as Adam Gase so eloquently put it.

However, this was different. Taking an embarrassing L when the team collapses is one thing, but the lengths & depths to which our fan base raged after the game was something I just couldn’t deal with.

It’s not often that I willingly step away from Twitter voluntarily, but it was absolutely necessary for the better part of 48 hours after this game. The socials were a complete $hitstorm of misguided, wanna-be hot takes on our QB and pure rage calling for the owner to blow the team up, fire everyone and start over. As a side note, I’ll remind everyone we’re 3-2 and still tied for 1st in our division.

Don’t get me wrong, we have some massive issues on the OL with 60% of our starters missing and zero talented depth. This domino effect caused Ryan Tannehill to go from “in the running for 2018 NFL MVP” after week 3 to “Miami needs to find a QB“ just 2 weeks later. No, he cannot & will not ever “carry a team,” but Tannehill is above-average when given time in a decent scheme (those last 2 caveats should be re-read for emphasis).

But that’s not why you’re here — on to the shenanigans.

This is how I envision our entire fan base after the last game.

Drown Those Sorrows

My therapist suggested I deal with my anger by spending time in an adult coloring book.

It hasn’t gone well.


Here’s your in-game photo of the action from Dolphins at Bengals.


In related news, I came across a job posting on Craigslist from the Miami Dolphins. Something about “SEEKING FAT GUYS WHO CAN STOP OTHER FAT GUYS FROM HITTING OUR QUARTERBACK - SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY.” Hope they find a Fat Bastard who can block worth a damn.

Dead Sexy OL

Week 1: We win the game, but lose all-pro LG Josh Sitton
Week 2 & 3: We win some more despite missing 20% of our OL
Week 4: We lose our C Kilgore & the game, so now missing 40% of our OL
Week 5: Up 17-0 we lose our LT Tunsil, then the game, so now missing 60% of our OL

Ryan Tannehill doesn’t like this trend one bit...

RIP Ryan Tannehill