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Strikes & Gutters: Week Three Fantasy Advice (to avoid)

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That hurt...

Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

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Week 2 has traditionally been this column's Waterloo. It is by far the strangest week of the NFL season. For a wide variety of reasons it is extremely difficult to predict no matter how many fancy charts and graphs an analyst has to consult. My "Strike" calls were very bad, 2.5 out of 5, and my "Gutters" were even worse with a 2 out of possible 5. Here's the updated stats for my season so far..My C has been dropped to an F...

Even worse than my predictions last week was the performance from the Fish. A terrible loss to a crappy team. The promises that this season was going to be different seem very hollow. Instead, the story seems all too familiar. A defense that can't stop people, an offense that can't block, and a lack of plays being made with the game on the line. I seriously have to question the team's heart and toughness after that performance. Still have lots of faith in Tannehill and Landry as fantasy players though. We'll get into that in a bit. For now, ON TO THE STRIKES!

STRIKES:

Jimmy Graham: The Seahawks should be sufficiently pissed off on Sunday. The Bears Defense is terrible. They have given up one squillion points at home this season already, how do you think they'll fare in Seattle on Sunday?

Tyrod Taylor: When Blake Bortles lights you up, you have serious issues as a defense. If you are looking for an injury replacement, you could do a lot worse.

Brandon Marshall: He has been a monster this year. The Eagles Defense is not Bear or Falcon level bad, but its pretty bad. I don't know who they have that can cover Marshall.

Jonathan Stewart: The Saints don't enjoy tackling very much. the Panthers really like to run the ball, and J-Stew has been getting a lot of work early this season. I expect more of the same here, with a higher YPC avg, and maybe even a TD.

Courtesy Dolphin Start of the Week, Ryan Tannehill: I hate this matchup, but really outside of Tannehill and Landry, I don't trust anyone on this offense right now since we hate blocking so much. I know we will most likely be behind and throwing a ton. You can do a lot worse than Ryan Tannehill at QB this week.

GUTTERS:

Matt Forte: For the reasons outlined above, I expect the Bears to be losing by a lot on Sunday. I also don't expect the Matt Forte to do much of anything as the only real weapon the Bears have on a Jimmy Claussen led offense.

Drew Brees: I'm going to bring in Coach Gruden for this one. Coach, what are your feelings on Drew Brees this week?

"I'm going to use terms you Dolphins fans can appreciate. This guy Drew Brees, I like to call him Chad Hennington, because he has all the arm strength of Chad Pennington combined with the accuracy of Chad Henne."

Thanks coach, really spot on as always.

Matt Stafford: Fratty Matty, my god. Never has a QB done so little with as much talent around him. Even Matt Cassel had a pro bowl season when he was throwing to the likes of Randy Moss and Wes Welker, and he can't even put on a hat!

Jordan Mattews: A stay on Revis island should make him all but useless this weekend. God, I hate the Jets.

Courtesy Dolphin Sit of the week, Lamar Miller: I hate saying this, but I am so glad I didn't take him in the draft of my league this year. Love the player, love the talent, but there is no spine on this offensive line. And with the defense playing so poorly we are behind constantly and not committed to running the ball. The match up sucks this weekend. Stay away..

Cheer up Dolphans, we can't possibly get any lower than last week. I hope most of your teams do better than my predictions, and I also hope that I have a better week (both in fantasy land and IRL). let's get that percentage back up to C- levels.

Well, dude, sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you.