:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/45185680/51693985.0.jpg)
First, the obvious thing is, I am happy that Rob Konrad is able to swim nine miles and is still alive after falling off a fishing boat Wednesday. But, since everything does appear to have turned out alright, here is a top ten list of things that "happened" during the swim.
10. Not reported yet, but actually found on the beach with Konrad were two great white sharks, a tuna, and a marlin. Konrad considers it a semi-successful fishing trip.
9. Konrad did not actually fall off the boat. He swam out nine miles towing the boat on a rope in what he calls his "Normal Wednesday workout."
8. Witnesses said, 20 minutes after Konrad reached shore, an exhausted Aquaman also climbed onto the beach, shook Konrad’s hand and said, "Good race. I’ll catch you next time."
7. An airplane actually spotted Konrad during the swim, but he waved it off from a rescue attempt. Rob Konrad is not going to be rescued by any Jets.
6. Rob Konrad is actually working for the US Navy as an underwater mine disposal asset.
5. Konrad could not allow fellow Syracuse alum and Dolphins running back Larry Csonka to have the best boat related story. The gauntlet has been thrown down for kicker Olindo Mare, now.
4. Witnesses also said, 45 minutes after Konrad reached shore, an exhausted Chuck Norris also climbed onto the beach and said, "Good race. I’m never trying to beat you again."
3. Konrad did not actually swim the nine miles, he cleared the water out of the way for nine miles, making a path for Ricky Williams.
2. Konrad knew, with this swim, he would prove 10 years after retirement, he was still a better power runner than the Dolphins’ Daniel Thomas.
1. Konrad did not fall off the boat, the Kraken actually pulled him under. There is no more Kraken.