clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Strikes & Gutters: Week 3 Fantasy Advice

New, comments

Please see the quote at the end of this column...

Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Sigh....Most of the time, I don't even know why I bother doing this. I couldn't have been riding any higher than I was going into last week. The old adage; "Act like you've been there before" doesn't really apply to me, because as a Dolphins fan I haven't actually "been there before." My Strikes predictions from last week resembled the Dolphins performance in Buffalo. Lucky for you I have a short memory, let's pray the Dolphins do as well. Special thanks to Carson Palmer. Torpedoed my fantasy team and my advice column by waiting until 5 minutes before kick off to decide not to play on Sunday against the worst defense in the NFL. ZOMFG WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING?! DON'T YOU KNOW I'M A BLOGGER OF THE INTERNETZ WITH A VERY SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY RIDING ON YOUR PERFORMANCE IN MY FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE?!?!?! Justin Hunter and all of Titans were summarily handled by the might and strength of the Dallas Cowboys high school caliber defense. Brandin Cooks and the rest of Saints passing game was non-existent and I managed to sit Mark Ingram in favor of Shonn Greene. As a bonus, Mark Ingram now has a broken hand, so I wasted the best two weeks of his professional career because I make horrible decisions.

Ufm2l6v_medium

via i.imgur.com

Gio Bernard exploded for over 20 points in PPR leagues, and Charles Clay did end up catching 7 passes against Buffalo (I know right? it didn't look like they completed 7 passes the entire game because of the seemingly infinite amount of drops.)

Batmanthejokertypographybatmanthedarkknightsix1920x1080wallpaper_wwwwall321com_43_medium

via i110.photobucket.com

No man, SEVEN! So I'll go ahead and take half a point for Clay's PPR anomaly. 1.5 out of 5 on Strikes last week.. YEESH. I made up for it on the gutters. 5 out of 5. Told you Matt Ryan and Victor Cruz were going to suck. Man, I wish that made me feel even a little bit better. So, 6.5 out of 10. 65% is way higher than I anticipated it being.ON TO THE STRIKES!

Strikes:

Jeremy Maclin: The Redksins looked competent last week in disposing of the mighty Jaguars of Jacksonville. I bet the Eagles TORCH them this weekend.

Houston Texans: Short of Ryan Fitzpatrick, I'd highly recommend starting all your Texans. Foster looks like he's going to be the absolute steal of this season if you got him as a 2nd RB. In reference to the New York Giants defense, please see below:

41522edb4f42599180c0c0982df855213164a9577ae3f97d45a03b18dd159c23_medium

via www.quickmeme.com


Andrew Luck: The Colts may be 0 - 2, but its through no fault of Andrew Luck. Kirk Cousins destroyed the Jags last week. What do you think Andy here will do coming off his first 2 game losing streak since he was a freshman at Stanford? Every time I get mad or sad about being a Dolphin fan, I remember the Jaguars. THEY CHOOSE TO START CHAD HENNE EVERY WEEK.

Julian Edelman: In PPRs you start him every week regardless, however, I think the Pats are going clobber the Raiders at home this weekend. I think the Passing Game will be on full display as well. Big games for Gronk and Edelman.

Courtesy Dolphin Start of the Week, Mike Wallace: He's a a legit WR2 this season, I am convinced. I defended him last season, but he looks like a man possessed this year. So did Moreno, who should only miss 3 games. I believe he gives the Chiefs fits this week. I think the passing game has a nice bounce back game at home. I still have faith in this offense. They ran into a buzz saw last week and made too many dumb mistakes. It looks fixable to me, and remember what they did to the Pats at home. that was no joke.

Gutters:

Michael Crabtree: While I don't share Richard Sherman's feelings on this particular gentleman, Patrick Peterson should eliminate him from this contest. if you have a better option on your bench, I'd consider it strongly.

Leveon Bell: The man who claimed he didn't know that you couldn't drive while high on weed will have a rough go this week vs. Panthers in Carolina.

Rashad Jennings: See the cat above about my feelings towards the New York Giants.

Kirk Cousins: Don't get cute here. He came into a home game vs a terrible team that had probably spent the week preparing for RGIII. If you are panicking because Tom Brady looks shaky, or you don't like Kaepernick's match up or something like that, look for another option.

Courtesy Dolphin sit of the Week, Lamar Miller: I think he's more banged up then they are leading on and toughness is not his strongest suit. I expect to see the load split among the other RBs. He may get into the end zone, but i wouldn't chance him this week as anything other than a flex play in deeper leagues.

Hopefully, both myself and the Dolphins bounce back this week. In the crazy world of the NFL, the first two weeks are always the most chaotic. Dizzying highs and disparaging lows are par for the course. Greatness responds to adversity with a calm and collected hand. Let's try an overcome.

Samuel-l-jackson-shark-attack-o_medium

via stream1.gifsoup.com


Well, dude, sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you... (or the shark I guess..)