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2014 Super Bowl XLVIII: Guide to the storylines you will hear way too much

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We are officially in Super Bowl week for the NFL, with the league preparing for the title matchup between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. We have your guide to all the storylines that will make you sick by the time Sunday gets here.

Jeff Zelevansky

Welcome to Super Bowl XLVIII week. The week of constant build up and over analysis of the NFL's championship game. With Media Day today, and the ramp up to the game just getting under way, we take a minute this morning to look at all the media options for ways to cover Super Bowl XLVIII and the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks:

1. Let it snow!

It's the first "cold weather" Super Bowl! The world is going to end. Travel delays are possible. Getting around New York City for all of the Super Bowl events this week will be miserable. Getting across the river to the stadium will be miserable. The stands will be miserable. Overall, this week will be miserable.

Professional championships should be played in ideal conditions. That's why baseball plays through the summer to get to October for the World Series! The Australian Open is played in January so the tennis is played in the mild summers of Melbourne, and not in the Southern Hemisphere winter. It just makes sense.

It's going to be a blizzard out there. How will football ever be played. It will be like a frozen tundra or an Ice Bowl - things unheard of for football. The current forecast has the temperature during Super Bowl Sunday nearing 40-degrees, while there is only a 20-percent chance of precipitation. We will hear all about the weather throughout this week, but at this point, it really doesn't matter - we will all be watching on TV and letting all the business suits who get tickets enjoy the snow.

Other storylines to use along the weather theme:

  • Peyton Manning can't play in the cold

On a side note, as a Miami Dolphins fans, I really hope the game is a snowy one. I hope it really is a blizzard, with snow falling so hard, the cameras can't focus on the players. I want it miserable. The "no Super Bowl in Miami because of the rain" story would be a great one to remember watching the players try triple salchows across a sheet of ice.

2. Peyton Manning must win this to be a great quarterback.

If Peyton Manning loses this game, he will no longer be a great quarterback. He may even fall into the riffraff of the also-rans. Forget everything about throwing for the most yardage in a single season and the most touchdown passes in a single season this year - if Manning does not win, he will never be considered great.

Manning has a Super Bowl ring, but you may as well forget that. It's this game that matters. It's this game that will make him into a great quarterback.

Other storylines to use along the Peyton Manning must win theme:

  • Eli Manning has more rings than Peyton
  • Peyton can't win the big game - even though he has
  • Peyton is great in the regular season but not in the playoffs
  • Eli won his second ring in Peyton's house, now Peyton is trying to win his second in Eli's house

3. Richard Sherman is a thug/talks too much/is out of control:

You cannot get enough of Richard Sherman, right? Because you will see him some everywhere. And I mean, everywhere. Russell who? Earl where? Marshawn what? There's no one on the Seattle Seahawks roster not named Richard Sherman, right?

Oh, and you will get to see Sherman staring straight at you while yelling at Erin Andrews about Michael Crabtree non-stop. In fact, I think that video is already on an endless loop on some cable channel somewhere. And if not, give it another day.

Other storylines to use along the Richard Sherman theme:

  • Sherman vs. Manning
  • Michael Crabtree's thoughts on Richard Sherman
  • Richard Sherman went to Stanford

4. Short players in the Super Bowl:

Hey guys, Russel Wilson is short. Oh, look at Wes Welker, he's short too. It's like an epidemic. But you know what, they play with a lot of heart. That's what makes them big enough to play at the NFL level. It's amazing the struggle that these short players have had to overcome in order to become two of the best players in the league.

Other storylines to use along the short theme:

5. Old School vs. New School:

Peyton Manning is a vintage quarterback. Russel Wilson is the evolution of the position. And they are facing off in the Super Bowl! What more can the NFL want? Will Peyton Manning drop back and pass his way to a Lombardi Trophy? Will Russell Wilson take off running with a Super Bowl ring?

Your choice of whether you would like to see the Broncos or Seahawks win is the ultimate side of how you want your quarterback to look. You will choose, and you will live with that choice forever!

Other storylines to use along the short theme:

  • Top Offense vs Top Defense - is it a passing league or does defense still win championships? - Actually, this might be too close to actually analyzing the game. This may need to be avoided
  • Read-option - has it already come and gone in the NFL?

Bonus: OMAHA!

In case you OMAHA! missed it, Peyton Manning OMAHA! says Omaha a lot. This week, OMAHA! we will see Omaha. Someone will OMAHA! take OMAHAA! us on a tour of the town. We will hear Omaha - a OMAHA! lot! We will OMAHA! hear about what Omaha might OMAHA! mean. We OMAHA! will hear whatO MAHA! it might not mean. OMAHA! We will hear how Peyton OMAHA! will change its meaning during the OMAHA! game. OMAHA! OMAHA! We will hear how Omaha can draw defenses OMAHA! offsides.

Oh, and OMAHA!

What else? What other storylines do you see being overplayed this week?