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It's the offseason. Even with minicamp going on, it's the offseason. So, I though, why not spend some time on Ebay and see what Miami Dolphins items I can find. Here's a look at some of them:
For $35 you can land a Dolphins RV. I'm not really sure why you would need a Dolphins RV, but, hey, why not.
This has to be one of my favorites. First, I am not sure who they used as their model for this 3" figurine, but it clearly was not Dan Marino. Second, I like the fact that you are actually getting this on sale. That's right. It's 10% off, so instead of the $4.00 Buy It Now price, you can get it for a steal at just $3.60. Well, $3.60 plus the $2.75 shipping.
Just like all of you, when I am walking around South Beach, I often find myself wishing I could support the Dolphins and wear a Hawaiian shirt at the same time. Apparently, that is possible. For a low $29.95 (plus $5.50 shipping), you can land this...cough...sweet....cough....used Hawaiian Dolphins shirt. Don't miss your opportunity.
To be honest, I'm not really sure what is happening here. Is that Gumby as a voodoo doll, with Dolphins tattooed across his stomach? I don't know.
Just in case your propane gets cold, we have you covered (no pun intended.....okay, maybe a little intended). You know that propane tank that is hidden away behind a door on your grill? Why not cover it in your Dolphins pride so absolutely no one can see it, unless you asked them to do you a favor and turn off the propane.
Are you mad you missed that 34-7 beat down the New England Patriots gave the Miami Dolphins in Week 5 of the 1986 season? Do you tell your friends you were there anyway? Backup the most random lie you could ever tell by grabbing these full tickets to the October 5 contest. Now you can "prove" you were at the game to see Dan Marino throw three interceptions and just 167 yards - which was still more than Tony Eason threw during the game.
I know, you have always dreamed of buying yourself an H2 and tricking it out in aqua and orange. You can save yourself the trouble, though, and just snag this miniature. Plus, it comes with a Ricky Williams trading card. All for just $9.00....with FREE shipping!
I know, you were just thinking how much you needed a really odd sketch of Jim Kiick on the side of your drinking glass. That's exactly why Ebay exists - help you solve your random cravings. For $10.50, you can be the proud owner of this vintage glass. Too bad there's just the Kiick model....
Wait...WHAT?!?! For just $19 more, I can have Nick Buoniconti and Mercury Morris look at me as I drink my orange juice in the morning as well? This is officially more mind blowing than infinity times infinity.
And, somehow, the two listings are by two different people. How is that even possible?
So, the only real questions left are (a) why aren't you already bidding on some of these things, and (b) how many of these does Ohio already own?