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Strikes & Gutters: Week 8 Fantasy Advice

When life hands you lemons, make delicious bourbon drinks that call for lemon.

Gregory Shamus

Recapping last week's column was shockingly not as embarrassing as anticipated. It seemed as though the bad ideas actually weren't that bad after all. In fact, aside from DeSean Jackson, who had to deal with righteous bro Matt Barkley and his baby arm for most of the game on Sunday, all my strikes were spot on. Even Ryan Tannehill, who didn't play particularly well put up 22 points in my league and had a career high 3 touchdown passes. Most of the Dolphins had decent fantasy performances, though this past week's debacle at home more closely resembled a nightmare I'm afraid. That however, is a different story. I'll take a 4 out of 5 for the strikes, with Matt Forte finally breaking through and having the type of game I'd hoped all our cover photo stars would produce this season. Since this is the first year of my column here at the Phinsider, I am learning a few things: 1) Never put a Jaguar player at the top of your column. 2) Never predict a big game for Darren McFadden and 3) Never expect quarterbacks with injury histories as long as their criminal records to be reliable options. As for the gutters, I'm giving myself a 3 out 5. The Patriots offense was terrible (again). Andre Johnson and Colin Kaepernick put up decent numbers (better than I thought) but not great by any standard and your Dolphins players all did ok as well. Miller was the closest thing to Gutter from a fantasy standpoint and that is just because the coaches won't give him the touches he deserves. A nice garbage time showing from Jordan Cameron saved his week.  As for my beloved teams (fantasy and actual), all took hard L's. The team I have in the league in which I am commissioner has lost Reggie Wayne, Randall Cobb, David Wilson (who sucked anyway) and Shane Vereen for extensive time to injury. Brandon Marshall, has now lost his QB BFF that throws him the ball 80% of the time every time. Injuries, coupled with the fact that this team has scored the 3rd most points in a 12 team league, yet is in dead last suggested that drastic measures needed to be taken. I shipped off LeSean McCoy and Keenan Allen for Marques Colston, LeVeon Bell and Jarrett Boykin in hopes to bolster my injury ravaged starting line-up. All three players I received have already had their byes and will start for me. I think Colston is prime for a big second half as the Saints are dealing with injuries on offense, and Boykin and Bell have shown talent and upside. My Phinsider team resembles the Hindenburg and is beyond saving at this point.



On to the Strikes!


Broncos Offense: The Redskins defense is terrible. Start any Broncos you have if you weren't already. Expect big things from Knowshon Moreno in particular.

Redskins Passing Game: On the flip side of this, look for a shoot out in Denver. Robert Griffin III actually resembled the RG3 we remembered last week. Jordan Reed gives them a new dynamic and I can see Pierre Garcon having a nice game as well. Monitor Reed's status throughout the week, he's got a hip pointer according to team reports.

Reggie Bush: Our old pal is putting up Marshall Faulk type numbers in Detroit this season. Dallas's D isn't that stout, and I think Bush explodes in this one with Calvin Johnson coming back to full health.

Rob Gronkowski: Back and healthy finally, he was the apple of Tom Brady's eye last week in New Jersey. As we know all too well, the Dolphins have forgotten that teams can throw to the TE on a weekly basis for about 3 years now.

Courtesy Dolphin Start of the week, Brandon Gibson/Charles Clay: The Pats do a good job of stuffing the running game and the Dolphins won't give Miller the ball for some reason. Wallace will be shadowed by Talib. I think the underneath guys step up big in this one. I could also see Hartline putting up good numbers as well. If you are in bye week hell (like me) or need a strong flex in a PPR I think Gibson has a legitimate shot at producing again. He's been a sneaky PPR play all season.


Rams: Any of them. There aren't many you would be playing anyway, but they are in danger on Monday night. I believe Kellen Clemons is starting for them. This negates the already slim chances the pass catchers had of being effective. Also, the Seahawks defense is good.

Hakeem Nicks: Don't ever play Hakeem Nicks.

Dwayne Bowe: He'll be on Haden Island. Also, Alex Smith doesn't seem to know that Dwayne Bowe is on his team. Someone should introduce these guys.

Maurice Jones-Drew: You may think this is stating the obvious, but seriously, the Jags are terrible. Start anyone else, this is a terrible match-up. Poor MJD.

Courtesy Dolphin Sit of the week, Lamar Miller: The Dolphins haven't seemed ready to commit to him all season. Daniel Thomas ran hard last week, but can you imagine if Lamar Miller was getting those carries? You think he may have broken one, like he almost did on his 30 yard draw play? 

There you have it folks; advice guaranteed to be advice. This fantasy season has been a disaster for me, as it has been for countless others I'm sure. Now, my beloved Dolphins are also beginning to look like the mediocre to terrible teams we have grown accustomed to seeing over the past 10 years. But there is always hope, and in a lot of cases there is always next season.



"Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, well, he eats you."