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... Oh, hi guys. Were you expecting me to reveal the Dolphins' selection in the draft this evening? Well, I can't do that for you--not because I want to be a sadistic jag toward anyone here, but because I really have no f'n clue where the Jeff Ireland and Co. will go with the eighth pick in this draft. Everyone thinks it'll be Texas A&M quarterback Ryan Tannehill (somewhere, Bacon is cracking open a tallboy at the thought of Tannehill raising a Dolphins jersey with Judge Dredd Goodell tonight). A lot of people think North Carolina defensive end Quinton Coples is a legit possibility for Miami. Ditto with South Carolina defensive end Melvin Ingram. Notre Dame wide receiver extraordinaire Michael Floyd is currently the darkhorse to play ball in South Florida next season. And you can never, ever, EVER rule out an offensive lineman for Miami in the first round. So many options, so little time ... and it's going to be madness for Dolphins fans when that eighth pick goes on the clock--true madness. Some of them will expect the worst (aka the "We're drafting the entire Ginn family" draft plan) tomorrow night. Some will just be glad to get some more talented prospects on the Dolphins roster. Other fans will party their faces off purely at the thought of the Dolphins breaking the 29-year-without-drafting-a-first-round-quarterback streak. Whatever your reasons for excitement, optimism or pessimism, take solace in this fact: the Dolphins selection tonight will be a bona fide game changer--a player who will help Joe Philbin and Co. move closer to their goal of painting the AFC East in rich, bold shades of aqua and orange.
And if the above wasn't enough to convince you that tonight will be a glorious moment in Miami Dolphins history, consider the scenario(s) that come with each prospect listed above
Ryan Tannehill -- Chances of being selected by Miami: pretty frickin' high
For those of you in the "Draft Tannehill" camp, his selection at No. 8 would be like wishing for a horse and receiving a pony. Yeah, the upside, alluring features/skills and "wow" factor are all there, but you'll have to wait a little bit before it's safe to ride.
Quinton Coples -- Chances of being selected by Miami: not as low as you think
If Ireland really still has the Parcells bug, Quinton Coples should be considered a serious threat to land in Miami. He's got the strength and size to dominate at end in a four-man front, and he's very effective when lined up inside, as well. Character questions still exist with Coples, so be prepared to hear plenty of gambling comparisons if the Dolphins choose to move forward with this guy.
Melvin Ingram -- Chances of being selected by Miami: dwindling by the day, but there's still hope
Ingram's height and stubby arms could be his undoing in the eyes of a GM (Ireland) who prefers all his defensive lineman to be built like the Beastmaster, but there's no denying the kind of spark, leadership and high-octane pass rush Ingram would bring to the Dolphins' hybrid scheme.
Michael Floyd -- Chances of being selected by Miami: not great, but I wouldn't put money against it
When Joe Philbin was in Green Bay, he witnessed firsthand how the Packers would target receiving talent in rounds 2-4. If Philbin brought that approach to Miami, then Floyd is nothing more than a pipe dream for some Dolphins fans. However, if Philbin and Sherman are serious about bringing in a prospect with great hands, bulk and speed, the buck will stop here with this Notre Dame standout.
Riley Reiff -- Chances of being selected by Miami: Could be an ice cube's chance in hell
The nightmare pick that few Dolphins fans want to see. However, I just don't buy the Dolphins going O line in the first round this year. That said, I can't wait to watch David DeCastro go somewhere in the top 12-14 picks. Maybe then people here will stop complaining about the Mike Pouncey selection.