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Dear Magic 8-Ball, What Does the Rest of 2011 Hold for the Dolphins?

After a lot of missed opportunities, ill-conceived coaching decisions (going for two against the Broncos; throwing repeatedly at Darrelle Revis the way Green Bay threw in William Gay's direction during Super Bowl XLV) and genuinely embarrassing outcomes (giving up a season's worth of passing yards to Tom Brady in Week 1) for the Dolphins in 2011, we, as a fan base, have reached the crossroads known as 2-7. Sure, the Dolphins just beat up on two teams whose situations are genuinely worse than what we have going on here in Miami (which is unbelievable), and our schedule is about to get exponentially harder starting either this week or on Thanksgiving Day (depending on whether or not the Bills decide to show up in Miami after they were repeatedly rabbit punched by the Cowboys last Sunday). But at 2-7, it's hard to tell how the next seven weeks will go in Dolphins land. Maybe we lose out. Maybe we catch Buffalo and Philadelphia in their current downward spirals and elevate ourselves to the middle of the pack (where we've been every season since 2008). Maybe we win out (haha) and just miss the playoffs, saving the jobs of both Tony Sparano and Jeff Ireland (just kidding; those guys are basically dead men walking).

How will the Dolphins fare during the next seven weeks? Will Sparano survive the rest of the season? Have we won our last game, or will we tear through the rest of this month? How many truly winnable games do we have left on the schedule?

Also, throw in your playoff teams for each conference and tell us which likely bubble teams (Raiders, Chargers, Giants, Jets, Titans, maybe even the Falcons) will advance and which teams will be left behind.