2014 NFL Mock Draft: Movie athletes drafted into the NFL

Jeff Gross

The 2014 NFL Draft is just two days away, and the time between now and then will be filled with millions of different projections of how the first round will fall. We add to those mock drafts with another of our own - with a little twist. We draft movie athletes into the NFL.

We are going to have a little fun this morning.  With the 2014 NFL Draft just two days away, a lot of the internet is going to be churning out mock drafts as fast as they can - and we are going to add to that, but we are not going to use the actual draft prospects, at least for this mock.  Instead, today's mock big board is full of the fictional movie characters we have all seen on the big screen.

The key there is, it has to be semi-fictional.  I'm not putting Michael Oher on the bog board, since he's actually an NFL player.  A movie like "Friday Night Lights" however is free game, since it's not about NFL players.  Hopefully that distinction makes sense.

1_-_houston_texans_2014_draft_pick
Houston Texans
Battle Red Blog
Willie Beamen QB Any Given Sunday

Houston needs a top tier quarterback, and they get that with Willie Beamen, coming off his breakout year with the Miami Sharks.

2_-_st_louis_rams_2014_draft_pick
St. Louis Rams
Turf Show Times
Deacon Moss WR The Longest Yard (2005)
Rams need to better protect Sam Bradford. This pick will also allow the Rams to develop their staring LT of the future.
3_-_jacksonville_jaguars_2014_draft_pick
Jacksonville Jaguars
Big Cat Country
Shane Falco QB The Replacements
Although it's taken a long time to shake the Sugar Bowl disaster, Flaco seems to have found himself during his days as a scab, and he has earned his shot as a replacement for Chad Henne.
4_-_cleveland_browns_2014_draft_pick
Cleveland Browns
Dawgs by Nature
Frank Cushman QB Jerry Maguire
A number one overall talent who is still on the board after the first three picks is too-good-to-be-true for the Browns, who land the man who will either ski or surf.
5_-_oaland_raiders_2014_draft_pick
Oakland Raiders
Silver and Black Pride
Switowski OT The Longest Yard (2005)

Come on. A man who brags about making a man s*** himself seems exactly like the type of nasty offensive lineman the Raiders need.

6_-_atlanta_falcons_2014_draft_pick
Atlanta Falcons
The Falcoholic
Bobby Boucher LB Waterboy
Atlanta needs a pass rusher. Is there anyone else better at getting after the quarterback - especially if he sees him drinking Gatorade.
7_-_tampa_bay_buccaneers_2014_draft_pick
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Bucs Nation
Jumbo Fumiko OT The Replacements

A giant of a man, the sumor wrestler turned offensive lineman has agility unexpected of a man his size. The Buccaneers may have a steal on their hands here.

8_-_minnesota_vikings_2014_draft_pick
Minnesota Vikings
Daily Norseman
Paul Crewe QB The Longest Yard (1974)
Assuming the NFL can look past that whole point-shaving misunderstanding, Crewe has the talent to lead and should be able to excel with Adrian Peterson.

9_-_buffalo_bills_2014_draft_pick
Buffalo Bills
Buffalo Rumblings
Rod Tidwell WR Jerry Maguire
Tidwell gets his money by landing as a top nine pick - but that means there are eight teams he will be out to embarrass each and every time they play.
10_-_detroit_lions_2014_draft_pick
Detroit Lions
Pride of Detroit
Earl Wilkerson DB The Replacements

The Lions need to shore up their secondary, and they get a player who would have been All-Pro if he hadn't beat up those cops and gones to jail...ALLEGEDLY! Allegedly beat up those cops.

11_-_tennessee_titans_2014_draft_pick
Tennessee Titans
Music City Miracles
Jonathan Moxon QB Varsity Blues
The Titans did not pick up the fifth year option on Jake Locker, which means he is on a short leash as the team decides whether this is his final year in Tennessee or not. Picking up Mox here gives them time to develop the youngster while deciding what to do with Locker.
12_-_new_york_giants_2014_draft_pick
New York Giants
Big Blue View
Luther Lavay LB Any Given Sunday

Maybe not exactly a need, but Lavay is a dominant linebacker who reminds scouts a lot of Lawrence Taylor in body build and playing style. Seems like a fit for the Giants.

13_-_st_louis_rams_2014_draft_pick
St. Louis Rams
Turf Show Times
Petey Jones RB/S Remember the Titans
The Rams already added a wide receiver, now they continue to address the offense with a running back, but also target a need on defense with Jones, who was thrown onto the defense mid-game as a safety, and dominated. Best of both worlds for the Rams.
14_-_chicago_bears_2014_draft_pick
Chicago Bears
Windy City Gridiron
Stef Djordjevic DB All the Right Moves
A undersized cornerback, Djordjevic could slide over and pick up a safety position. He's got the heart to succeed, though he has a history of not getting along with coaches. Maybe a second stint under coach Nickerson in college has him ready to make the NFL leap.
15_-_pittsburgh_steelers_2014_draft_pick
Pittsburgh Steelers
Behind the Steel Curtain
Charlie Tweeder WR Varsity Blues

Another undersized player with a ton of heart, Tweeder goes and gets everything he wants. He's going to find a lot of success out of the slot for Ben Roethlisberger.

16_-_dallas_cowboys_2014_draft_pick
Dallas Cowboys
Blogging the Boys
Julius Campbell DE Remember the Titans
During the 2013 season, in became clear that the Cowboys had to fix their defense - then they lost DeMarcus Ware in the offseason. Campbell gives them a new pass rusher, and the defensive leader they must have.
17_-_baltimore_ravens_2014_draft_pick
Baltimore Ravens
Baltimore Beatdown
Danny Bateman LB The Replacements
Linebacker may not be among the top needs for the Ravens, but are you telling me John Harbaugh would turn down a linebacker who he just needs to tell to get the ball, and he will? Well, either that or he will kill someone.
18_-_new_york_jets_2014_draft_pick
New York Jets
Gang Green Nation
Brian Murphy TE The Replacements
Geno Smith needs weapons, which Murphy provides. He's a true hybrid at the position - even before the split out TE was a norm in the NFL. Plus, if you look on the bright side, he will never be offsides on an audible.
19_-_miami_dolphins_2014_draft_pick
Miami Dolphins
The Phinsider
Jamal Jackson G The Replacements
The Dolphins take a risk by selecting Jackson here, assuming they will either be able to pick his brother in the second round or that Jamal will be able to succeed without Andre. It did not work in the past, but the two Jacksons have proven to be elite before - now Jamal needs to be able to do it again.
20_-_arizona_cardinals_2014_draft_pick
Arizona Cardinals
Revenge of the Birds
Lance Harbor QB Varsity Blues

The Cardinals need to find a replacement for Carson Palmer, who is not getting any younger. Harbor needs time to make sure his leg heals fully, and can use the time behind Palmer as a developmental period.

21_-_green_bay_packers_2014_draft_pick
Green Bay Packers
Acme Packing Company
Clifford Franklin WR The Replacements
If Franklin can figure out how to catch a pass from Aaron Rodgers without gallons of Stickum on his hands, this could be a dynamic duo for the Packers.
22_-_philadelphia_eagles_2014_draft_pick
Philadelphia Eagles
Bleeding Green Nation
Greg Meaney LB Waterboy

The Eagles need a linebacker, and, without concerns about his bullying past dropping his draft stock, they land a top tier talent late in the first round.

23_-_kansas_city_chiefs_2014_draft_pick
Kansas City Chiefs
Arrowhead Pride
Billy Bob OL Varsity Blues

The Chiefs need help on the offensive line, and Billy Bob, assuming medical clearance is obtained for him and his cat, will provide that. He could line up at center or guard. When he pulls, he will simply dominate at the second level.

24_-_cincinnati_bengals_2014_draft_pick
Cincinnati Bengals
Cincy Jungle
Louie Lastik OT Remember the Titans
A big, powerful blocker, Lastik is probably a right tackle at the NFL level, but he has had success on the left side of the line already. Could start on the right with an eye toward developing into a left tackle.

Keep up with all of our Mock Draft coverage

25_-_san_diego_chargers_2014_draft_pick
San Diego Chargers
Bolts from the Blue
Vontae Mack DE Draft Day
Originally projected as a darkhorse to end up as a number one overall pick, Mack slides to 25th today, and he's probably not very happy about it. The Chargers should be ecstatic about that, because he is going to tear up some people to prove he should have been picked higher.
26_-_cleveland_browns_2014_draft_pick
Cleveland Browns
Dawgs by Nature
Megget RB The Longest Yard (2005)
With Cush under center, the Browns now look to shore up the offensive attack with a dynamic runner (with or without shoes). They use the pick they stole from the Indianapolis Colts for Trent Richardson to grab an incredible runner.
27_-_new_orleans_saints_2014_draft_pick
New Orleans Saints
Canal Street Chronicles
Becky O'Shea LB Little Giants
The first woman in the NFL finds herself in New Orleans, as Icebox brings her intensity and drive to Rob Ryan's defense. After a poor decision to try cheerleading to be more of a girl, O'Shea returned to the Little Giants and again dominated. She will do the same at the professional level.
28_-_carolina_panthers_2014_draft_pick__final_
Carolina Panthers
Cat Scratch Reader
Jimmy Sanderson WR Any Given Sunday
A top talent at wide receiver, his past drug use with the Sharks makes Sanderson fall. The Panthers desperately need a wide out, and they will take a chance on Sanderson cleaning up his act.
29_-_new_england_patriots_2014_draft_pick__final_
New England Patriots
Pats Pulpit
Brian Drew QB Draft Day
Tom Brady may continue to be the starter for the Patriots for the foreseeable future, but he's not getting any younger, and the team has to start considering the future. Ryan Mallett has potential, but not like Drew, who has Andrew Luck style hype leading into the draft.
30_-_san_francisco_49ers_2014_draft_pick__final_
San Francisco 49ers
Niners Nation
Forrest Gump KR Forrest Gump
Jim Harbaugh is not a typical coach, and he wants to prove it to the 49ers among all the speculation that he is wearing out his welcome in the Bay Area. What better way than taking a one-trick pony like Gump and turning him into something dynamic. Can you imagine what could be in this box of chocolates once Harbaugh gets involved?
31_-_denver_broncos_2014_draft_pick
Denver Broncos
Mile High Report
Turley FB The Longest Yard (2005)
The Broncos need to protect Peyton Manning, but an offensive lineman is not necessarily the answer. They turn to a giant of a fullback who will crush anyone who comes near Manning.
32_-_seattle_seahawks_2014_draft_pick
Seattle Seahawks
Field Gulls
Phillip Elliott WR North Dallas Forty
The Seahawks have an insane defense, so they should spend this Draft adding to the offense. Elliott is...mature...for this Draft, but he is a good possession receiver and should become a reliable target for Russell Wilson. The concerns about his reliance on pain killers and his partying lifestyle have to be answered before the Seahawks can fully commit to this pick.

Best Remaining Players:

Trumaine CB Wildcats
Andre Jackson G The Replacements
Lucy Draper K Necessary Roughness
Nigel Gruff K The Replacements
Brian Riley LB All the right moves
Steve Lattimer LB The Program
Joe Pendleton QB Heaven Can Wait
Johnny Utah QB Point Break
Reno Hightower QB The Best of Times
Joe Kane QB The Program
Ray Jennings RB Draft Day
Darnell Jefferson RB The Program
Julian Washington RB Any Given Sunday
Ray Griffen RB The Program
Wendell Brown RB Varsity Blues
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