Twas the night before the Phins game, and all thru Andrew Lucks house
Not a creature was stirring, not even his spouse;
The footballs were stacked by his locker with care,
In hopes that the Lombardi trophy soon would be seated there;
The Lucks were all nestled snug in their beds;
While visions of touchdowns danced in Andrews head;
In the morning he rose putting on his Colts cap,
And headed to the stadium after his long nights nap.
When he arrived in the locker room there arose such a clatter,
He rushed out to the field to see what was the matter.
Grabbing his helmet he really hauled ass,
Out through the tunnel he rushed to the freshly marked grass.
The sun reflected of the white jerseys like snow,
As he surveyed his opponents spread out below,
When what to his wondering eyes should appear.
But the Dolphins defensive front, and he started to fear.
Each one of them looked so vicious and quick,
He took off his helmet and thought he might be sick.
When he took the first snap more rapid then eagles they came,
They blew past his lineman and as he scrambled he called them by name:
Don't kill me Jordan, Starks, Soliai, Wheeler, Ellerbe, Misi, Odrick
Oh here comes Cameron Wake, holy crap he is quick!
Out of the pocket to the sidelines his ass he did haul,
Now dash away, dash away, dash away with the ball!
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
He meet with an obstacle that seemed to fall from the sky;
Right between his numbers Wakes shoulder did plow,
With a hit so hard his helmet flew right off his brow.
All day they came at him from left and from right,
Until he wished he had not lived to see this night.
And when it was done oh the sacks had stacked up,
Not to mention the hits, the hurries, the deflections and such.
Late that same night as he soaked in the whirlpool bath,
One of his receivers walked by and started to laugh.
Luck asked what the hell he thought was so funny,
He replied "You must feel like a tackling dummy"
Then he heard him exclaim as he turned out the locker room lights
"At least you didn't butt fumble like Mark Sanchez tonight."