Predictions For All 32 Teams in 2013

Good evening Phinsider. It's been a couple years since I've done much around here. I figured I'd jump back in with predictions on all 32 teams, in alphabetical order.

Arizona Cardinals:

Larry Fitzgerald will have a bounce back year, but won't end up in the top 5 wideouts. Carson Palmer will also dust off the smoldering embers of his career but only for a while before the turnstile that is his O-line ends his season.

Atlanta Falcons:

The resurgent Saints end up relegating the Falcons to an 11-win Wildcard team. Stephen Jackson has a solid year, albeit not living up to the hype machine.

Baltimore Ravens:

With the major attrition over the offseason the Baltimore Ravens slump down to the bottom of the playoff edge with a disappointing 8-8 season.

Buffalo Bills:

Under a rookie year that places him with the rest of the promising young QBs, EJ Manuel leads a talented, but previously underperforming, Bills team to 9 wins. The Bills enter the playoffs with the 6 seed.

Carolina Panthers:

Against a tough division in the NFC, the Panthers finish out of the playoff picture. Cam Newton leads all QBs in total yards between passing and rushing.

Chicago Bears:

The Bears take the NFC North and sweep their division. Jay Cutler is awarded a ridiculous offseason contract that eventually sees him booted from Chicago in several years.

Cincinnati Bengals:

The Bengals snatch the AFC North and the 1-seed. They make it all the way to the Superbowl. Dalton passes for 30 TDs and 4500 yards.

Cleveland Browns:

The Browns play respectably and compete in all games, but finish 3rd in the division and out of the playoffs. They end the season primed for next year.

Dallas Cowboys:

Behind Kiffin and a talented roster, with inspired play from Romo, the Cowboys win the NFC East by beating Washington in the second to last week. Jason Garret is fired the next year when they only win 7 games.

Denver Broncos

Even without Von Miller, a powerhouse Broncos team obliterates the AFC West and loses in O/T to the Cincinnati Bengals in the AFC Championship.

Detroit Lions:

The Lions continue a downward spiral, with Jim Schwartz getting the Axe at some point.

Greenbay Packers:

Aaron Rodgers leads the league in sacks and proves it takes a village as the Pack collapses and misses the playoffs.

Houston Texans:

Out for blood, Houston rips a weak South and earns the 3 seed. They lose gracefully against Peyton Manning and the Broncos.

Indiannapolis Colts:

Facing a much tougher schedule, the Colts get exposed and hosed and fall back to earth, and out of the playoffs.

Jacksonville Jaguars:

Jacksonville is hardly competitive and finally realizes that Blaine Gabbert isn't the answer. They end up with either Teddy Bridgewater or Jadeveon Clowney with the second pick.

Kansas City Chiefs:

An overhyped Chiefs team gets rocked and the Walrus weeps as his team is 3rd in the West. Alex Smith reverts to form and starts to become persona non grata.

Miami Dolphins:

Sweeping the Jets and splitting the Bills and Pats, Miami wins the East in a dog fight. Ryan Tanehill starts gaining praise as the Dolphins are knocked out by the Bengals in the divisional round.

Minnesota Vikings:

The Vikings have a mediocre year where they lose several close games and finish slightly out of the playoffs. Adrian Peterson only rushes for 1100 yards, letting down fantasy owners everywhere. Jake Locker starts to be questioned.

New England Patriots:

In a letdown year, the Patriots still record double digit wins as a wildcard. Miami exacts revenge upon them however, and ends their season as a wildcard.

New Orleans Saints:

The Saints rebound from last year to grab the South and the NFC Championship. Drew Brees throws 4 interceptions and leads the NFL in completion percentage.

New York Giants:

The Giants have another letdown year in which Tom Coughlin 'retires' and everyone's favorite announcer-turned coaching threat comes back to football.

New York Jets:

Geno Smith puts out just enough wins for the Jets to miss out on Bridgewater and Clowney. He doesn't stay healthy all season and Matt Sims finishes out from week 13 onward, playing strongly and generating more controversy for the offseason. Santonio goes over the edge. Rex ends up fired, and as a DC coaches the #2 defense in 2014.

Oakland Raiders:

The Raiders win 1 game in 2013 and earn the overall pick. Al Davis claws his way out of the ground and trades it for CJ Spiller (JK). The Raiders take Clowney or Teddy.

Philadelphia Eagles:

Chip's offense doesn't translate well and he finds himself Sabaning to Florida or Georgia and winning a National Championship or two. Michael Vick plays his last game as a starter.

Pittsburgh Steelers:

The Steelers have an abysmal year as injuries and poor play calls by Todd Haley wreck them. The Steelers finish last in their division and people sound very premature calls about Roethlisberger and Coach Tomlin.

San Diego Chargers:

The Chargers begin their rebuilding process as they finish second in their division, yet out of the playoffs. Phillip Rivers grows one year older.

San Francisco 49ers

The 49ers struggle slightly as Kaep goes through some growing pains with his wideouts. They knock off Chicago from the 6 seed.

Seattle Seahawks:

The Seahawks roll to a 1-seed and the best record in the NFL under Russell Wilson, the best QB of 2013. They lose a close game to the Saints in the NFC Championship where the Saints get their revenge on Marshawn Lynch.

St Louis Rams:

The Rams fall apart this season and Bradford starts getting drilled with the bust label. Tavon Austin finishes with 3 touchdowns. Jake Long has an up and down year and ends up slightly behind J-Mart as a Tackle.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

Much like Carolina, Tampa will suffer from their division and will play hard enough to see Schiano spared. For now.

Tennessee Titans:

CJ Spiller will have a one-season rebirth and put up 1400 yards while the Titans underperform and threaten few teams.

Washington Redskins:

Thd Redskins will miss the playoffs as a platoon of Kirk Cousins and RGIII struggles to remain healthy. Alfred Morris will start getting applause as an Elite back. Snyder voices his displeasure and starts turning on Shannahan. Their name doesn't change.


1. Cincinnati 1. Seattle

2. Denver 2. New Orleans

3. Houston. 3. Chicago

4. Miami. 4. Dallas

5. New England 5. Atlanta

6. Buffalo 6. San Francisco


1. Cincinnati 1. Seattle

2. Denver 2. New Orleans

3. Houston. 5. Atlanta

4. Miami 6. San Francisco


1. Cincinnati 1. Seattle

2. Denver 2. New Orleans

Super Bowl

Cincinnati over New Orleans

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Phinsider's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of The Phinsider writers or editors.

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