Hi All! You may know me from my comments on your posts. In fact many of you may despise me for my suggestions to bring in T.O. or to surgically attach Joey Porter's head and Tony Sparano's fist-pump arm to Chad Henne in order to create an unstoppable juggernaut of terror. This post is not about that, though...but it is related.
I think it's fair to say we have some holes on our team. In my opinion, wide receiver and safety are the biggest. But I think we also lack o-line, pass-rusher, and cornerback depth. This post is about finding talent to fill those holes and shore up depth at key positions. Now, I'm not going to WOW you with my knowledge of college prospects, possible trades, or waiver wire pickups. Why? Cause I have no idea...I really only follow the Dolphins. Where else can we find talent? I suggest we start by looking in our own backyard.
Now, before I go further, I should acknowledge my wife for giving me this idea. It was she who inspired me to think outside of the box with her question, "What position do you think Ricky would play if he were really on the Dolphins?". First, this is not a reference to Ricky Williams - he is one of her favorite players. It is actually in reference to our miniature schnauzer, Ricky Tambo (henceforth referred to as Tambo to minimize confusion with Ricky Williams). If you haven't yet broken your computer in frustration and/or wiped The Phinsider clear of any reference to "beneny", then perform this thought exercise with me...What position would your pet, or pets, play if they were on the Dolphins. Below, I have the positions my pets would play, why, and pluses and negatives of their "signing".
Ricky Tambo (miniature schnauzer)
Tambo would probably play linebacker or defensive end. He aggressively gets after opposing teams' units (barks at the neighbor dogs a lot) and never lets anyone else play with a ball. He has no shortage of energy when it comes time to get after the ball carrier. His enthusiasm could also hinder him, as well. He is known for his aggressive play and personal fouls. He is also getting older and his best playing years are behind him (he's 12.5). He is also somewhat slowed by a nagging ACL injury that has never fully healed. In summation, he won't replace our starters anytime soon, but he has experience and the aggressiveness you want on defense.
Trinity (also min. schnauzer)
Trinity is definitely a receiver - quick, shifty, diva, hates haircuts. She has a love for the game and is in her prime (~7). She has some health issues, but none have affected her on the field performance. Except for her diva qualities, she probably most resembles Davone Bess of the Dolphins.
Wadjet probably wouldn't play on the field. Her talents are best suited to the front office: sly, intelligent and ruthless. If she were on the Patriots, she would film other teams practices. On the Dolphins she would fit best making roster cuts. Negatives would include stealing fish from the mascot and inappropriately licking herself in public...which could cause headaches for Philbin.
So...what position would your pets play? Also, on a side not to anyone living in the Miami area - can you recommend a good realtor?