FanPost

To Kill a Mocking Board

Who mocks the Mocksters?

I think we’re all hitting the saturation point on Mock Drafts so I thought I might take things in a different direction. I think it’s time we mocked the mock draft-ors rather than the mock draft-ees.

I decided to ignore complete talking heads like Albert Breer - since when does following Peyton Manning around for for two weeks make you a draft expert? - and select from the most obvious and in some cases obnoxious "Draft Experts."

Members of the Phinsider community were not considered...as we all know, we all know we all know better.

I have included who they are currently projecting the Dolphins will pick, but this wasn't a factor in the rankings.

PhozenPhish's First and Only Mock Mock-Drafter Draft

1

Charley Casserly

Is my highest rated drafter for a number of reasons. Casserly was GM for Washington and Houston and as such has actually done the things most people here just pretend to do. Once he became a broadcaster he drew the ire of Bill Belichick for reporting information Belichick disagreed with. If I knew nothing else about him, that would be enough.

With Washington Casserly found later round gems like Brian Mitchell, Steven Davis, Keenan McCardell and Frank Wycheck. He drafted Mario Williams rather than Reggie Bush or Vince Young. He was the GM who acquired all of the Saints 2000 draft for switching picks in the first round. Mike Ditka took Rickey Williams, Casserly took Champ Bailey.

Projected Dolphin Pick: Ryan Tannehill.

2

Michael Lombardi

Another former NFL exec who has actually done this for real. Lombardi has over 20 years of front office experience under his belt, working within player personnel departments for the Oakland Raiders, San Francisco 49ers, Philadelphia Eagles, Cleveland Browns and Denver Broncos.

What I like about Lombardi, is he doesn't take his own mock draft very seriously, which is the attitude you'd expect for someone who knows he's now on the outside looking in.

Projected Dolphin Pick: Ryan Tannehill.

3

Pat Kirwan

Kirwan's experience in football was entirely in the Jets front office. He started as an assistant coach but soon moved into the FO and worked his way up to Director of Personnel. He was a manager, not an actual scout or GM. As such he wasn't really responsible for the Jets' drafting but he now knows bad drafting when he sees it having been exposed to it all those years. ("Kyle Brady" - BOOOOOO)

Projected Dolphin Pick: Ryan Tannehill.

4

Bucky Brooks

Brooks has extensive experience with NFL FOs having played for five different teams in five years. Smart enough to figure out he wasn't going to make it on the field so he became a scout. First for Seattle and then for Carolina. Knows top 5 talent when he sees it as that was where the teams he worked for were drafting.

Has actually gone to college games and pro days. This gives him experience and insight people who sit in studios or work out of their basements don't have.

Projected Dolphin Pick: Melvin Ingram.

5

Charles Davis

Davis, a four-year starting defensive back for Tennessee (1983-86), and was a member of the Academic All-SEC Team. After graduation, Davis was an assistant coach at the University of Pacific before moving into athletic administration where he worked as an assistant athletic director at Stanford University.

Translates to: Played the game. Is smart.

Projected Dolphin Pick: Ryan Tannehill.

6

Mike Mayock

A 10th-round pick in the 1981 NFL Draft by the Pittsburgh Steelers, Mayock then played for the New York Giants from 1982-83. Saw the writing on the wall and got out of the NFL before playing on all five special teams turned his brain to mush. He is a member of the Boston College Hall of Fame, where he starred in football and baseball and received a Communications degree.

Translates to: Played the Game. Sounds smart.

No Mock - which is really smart as that way no one can mock your mock draft. To his credit, would not have drafted himself.

7

Brian Baldinger.

During his 13-year NFL career, Baldinger played for the Dallas Cowboys ('82-'87), the Indianapolis Colts ('88-'91) where he was the team's Most Valuable Lineman in 1991, and the Philadelphia Eagles ('92-'93). He played in a total of 143 games. Took lots of shots to the melon. Mystifyingly refuses to get his finger fixed.

Translates to: Played the game. Probably still suffering from post concussion syndrome so he thinks he sounds smart.

Which still puts him ahead of...

Projected Dolphin Pick: Ryan Tannehill.

8

Chad Reuter.

Reuter is a self-made internet football writer. He was sitting on his couch one day and came to the conclusion, like the rest of us, that he could do this thing better than the talking heads. Unlike the rest of us he actually got off the coach and did something about it.

Like Lombardi he doesn't take himself too seriously. Unlike the pair below he doesn't think everything he writes came from the top of Mount Siani carved into two stone tablets.

Projected Dolphin Pick: Ryan Tannehill.

9

Todd McShay

ESPN talking head and self-proclaimed draft expert. Has spent entire career processing information on players he only sees on YouTube. Came up through the "ranks" of scouting service publications all the way to the Emerald City. Includes the fact he was a back-up QB for the University of Richmond and a starter at Swampscott (Mass.) High on his bio. Presumably so he can claim more actual playing experience than......

Projected Dolphin Pick: Michael Floyd

10

Mel Kiper Jr.

Pretty much invented the job of draft analyst. Deserves credit for filling a void no one recognized was there. But since then has continued to inflate until he developed an ego the size of Nebraska. ESPN runs him out every April because he is so sure he knows more about the draft than the people who actually do it that he will say things on air like Bill Tobin doesn't know what he's doing. The Ego has landed. Has Black Belt in hair-care.

Projected Dolphin Pick: Ryan Tannehill.

.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Phinsider's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of The Phinsider writers or editors.

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