Peyton Manning! You yes you! Get your ass over here.
I want to hear him singing the famous song by LMFAO once he gets here and ***** would be Tom Brady, Rex Ryan, and anyone else who opposes the Miami Dolphins.
I love the Dolphins. They're my team and what I don't love about them is we haven't had a quarterback to get us to the next level. Now grant it, Manning comes here knowing our luck he'll re injure his neck and be out again. However, I am going to be a positive Dolfan here. Manning is going to come in (hopefully bring his friend Reggie with) and destroy all teams that come our way, and in the meantime, groom the next legend in south beach not named Marino.
I have seven reasons why he needs to come here and disregard all other teams. In fact, ESPN should have a special on it. He should be broadcast all over the world, and put the Dolphins back in the spotlight of the NFL.
1-The weather is wonderful. He already has a house there, and think about all the advertising dollars he can raise. If he took a shit hole like Indy and made it special, think what he can do there. Which brings me to point number 2.
2-You have Ozzie Guillen, one of the best managers ever, running the Marlins with starts like Hanley Ramirez, Jose Reyes, Heath Bell, and one of the best left handed pitchers ever, Mr. Mark Buehrle. Then how could I not mention the Heat. Lebron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh. You will be joining the winners circle of sports talent in the city of Miami. And they all want you to come here? Hell even Donald Trump wants you to come here. Do you want to be a winner in Miami, or a loser in Arizona? Yeah they got Fitzgerald, but what else? Cactus? You'll poke your ass if you fall on one of those you know.
3-Speaking about losers, the Miami Dolphins have owned the Jets for many years now. Even when the four letter network was proclaiming them "an elite team" the Dolphins still owned them. In fact, in that final game of last season, Miami beat them so bad, Rex Ryan was crying, Santonio Holmes was pissing everyone off, and Plax wanted to go back to jail rather than play with the Jets a season longer. I know Peyton vs Eli, New York City, it would cause Bristol to itself and its sure is sexy. But not as sexy as the women in Miami which will flock to you when you have bad days. Female Jet fans? You have to wonder about them. And if you're not careful, Rex Ryan will eat your lunch literally.
4-And Manning has beat Tom Brady's ass once a year. Think about this, beating his ass twice a year. Maybe three times if the Patriots can keep up with the Dolphins on the road to the Superbowl. You will help the Miami Dolphins destroy that evil Bill Belichik. Instead of having five rings on his boat, he can write Peyton's bitch on it.
5-The Dolphins will be able to protect Mr. Manning better than a Trojan condom. We have Jake Long and Mike Pouncey, who are hell of a group of linemen with a couple of other folks like Lyndon Murtha, Richie Incognito in there. And our General Manager is so high on the line, if Manning comes here, he will do what he likes and pick a lineman! It will be a win win for everyone involved. Don't worry about your neck Peyton, this guys will watch your back. And that is good!
6-Look at the weapons here. Brandon Marshall, Davonne Bess, Brian Hartline, Reggie Bush, Anthony Fasano (well we don't know about him yet, but he's OK I guess.) If you pick Kansas City, you will have to find some real Indian Chiefs to fight the teams in order to get it done. Look at the Miami offense. With you on the team, we could be the only team to go undefeated twice.
7-And the most important reason of all...MIAMI HAS THE DOLPHINS, THE GREATEST FOOTBALL TEAM. Honestly Peyton Manning, how could you not come here?!?!?!!?!?!??!
Bottom line, although I am very nervous about Peyton Manning potentially signing with the Fins due to his injury, if he is healthy, think about how deadly and great this team becomes. Think about all the good times.
However Ireland and Ross, you guys get jilted at the altar again, I think we will need to fly five plans over the stadium this time.
Come into the pool Peyton, the waters great. And the Dolphins will be even better once you're on board young man.