FanPost

Your Average Phinsider FanPost Guide to Getting Andrew Luck


Now I'm no expert. I'm just your average Dolphins fan. I admit I've been wrong before. I didn't like the Jimmie Johnson hire. But I have to admit he built one hell of defense - maybe the best we've ever had in Miami. I hated the Dave Wannstedt hire too. And I hated how he overused Ricky Williams. But I have to admit - he did bring Ricky here. And now Ricky is pretty much my favorite Dolphin of all time. I was also a Henne apologist. So.... yeah.


So I've learned that what I don't know about football is a lot. I'm just a fan. And all I can do is hope I'm wrong when it comes to what I think are bad decisions on the part of the Dolphins organization.

But I'm not alone...

So let me run through what is clearly the best course of action for the current Dolphins based on the overwhelming attitudes I run across here at The Phinsider.

The course of action to which I'm referring is - Get a franchise QB at all costs! And the best franchise QB prospect for the future of any organization certainly has to be Andrew Luck. And for those of you who think that's simply not in the cards, just replace the words Andrew Luck for Robert Griffen III wherever they appear in this post. After all, to read the press, RG3 is just about as good a prospect as Luck.

Now - most of you seem to be of the opinion that quarterback is not only the most important position on the team, but it's the ONLY important position on the team. I've always been more of an offensive line guy (since it seems obvious that you can't run or pass without good blocking up front). But now that I've been reading the posts and comments on this site for the past couple years, I've changed my outlook. Now I see that the quarterback deserves ALL the credit for winning and ALL the credit for losing.

So the solution to the Dolphins woes is simple. We need to trade Jake Long. Now, obviously Jake Long (1st overall pick in 2008 and arguably the best Left Tackle in the league) isn't going to be enough to secure the 1st or 2nd overall pick in this year's draft. I think it goes without saying that we're throwing in our 1st, 2nd, and 3rd round picks this year as well as our 2013 1st and 2nd round picks to get Luck. But really, that package won't be enough. And since OL matters so little (After all, it's Matt Moore and Chad Henne's fault they got sacked so much last year - a better QB like Luck or Griffen would get the ball out so much faster!) we might as well throw in Mike Pouncey as well. That would sure sweeten the deal!

But surely the Colts and the Rams know as much about football as readers of the Phinsider. So they must know that OL is worthless without a Luck-caliber QB behind center. So we'd really have to throw in Brandon Marshall too if they're really going to take us seriously.

Oh no, but then there's the Redskins, Browns, and Seahawks to compete with for the trade. And the Browns and Redskins pick ahead of us. And the Seahawks could offer Marshawn Lynch. Have you seen Marshawn Lynch play? The man hasn't been tackled since 2009! The Dolphins don't have Marshawn Lynch. So we're gonna have to sweeten the deal with Vontae Davis. No other way around it. The problem there is that Vontae and Sean Smith are clearly bosom-buddies. Smith won't be the same without Vontae. So might as well throw him in too.

Now, the next part only goes for the Colts since the Rams already have Sam Bradford. But the Colts have an even worse QB situation than the Dolphins if they're gonna go without Luck or Manning. But Matt Moore is clearly not NFL starting material (I personally disagree. He was one of the top rated passers in the league for the second half of 2011. But now that I've been educated by the community here at the Phinsider, I know better). So we'd have to throw in Reggie Bush too. That would have the added benefit of out-doing the Seahawks and their Marshawn "Superman" Lynch offer.

Problem there is Bush is injury prone. Clearly he got his one lucky injury-free year out of the way last year. So he's guaranteed to sit out next year on IR. And the Colts just learned a hard lesson of what can happen when your best offensive player sits out the year on IR. So they'll see right through Bush. So the only way is to sweeten the deal just a little more and throw in Bess, Dansby, and Wake.

I know some of the more timid elements will say this is a "King's Ransom" to pay for just one player. But those of us here at Phinsider know that the QB is responsible for 99% of the offense, and most of the defense too. So all we have to do is trade Long, Pouncey, Marshall, Bush, Moore, Bess, Davis, Smith, Dansby, Wake, and essentially all our draft picks for the next few years, and BOOM! Can you say SUPER BOWL!!!

YEAH! Dolphins rule! I'm so glad we have such intelligent fans down here to save me the frustration of all the silly analysis of (sigh) offensive linemen, draft picks, etc. THANK YOU PHINSIDER POSTS!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Phinsider's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of The Phinsider writers or editors.