Phin Wars: Prelude to a Battle Part 1

     First, I'd like to say that this is not a continuation to the Phin Wars story line. I will write the next one after our first attack on the Death Star next Monday. This is for all of you who have joined the rebellion and I, to take on the Death Star and all who get in our way. This is what we must know to have a successful 2011-2012 campaign. This is your training young padawans. Welcome to boot camp! Not afraid? You will be...You will be...

To engage your enemy, one must know their enemy. Where are they from? What makes them tick? What are there tendencies? 

*Reconnaissance report*

Week 1: A Brief History of the Hutt

     The grotesque, ill-mannered, sloppy, slimy, disgusting, obese, slug-like creature, hails from Oklahoma and is the son of Buddy and Doris Hutt. He previously led a ferocious defense in the AFC North quadrant. Rexa was not the captain of this ship though. With the fall of the previous Jet's leader, a new one was required.

     Rexa the Hutt built a new palace in the land of the meadows. It was a palace in a city full of loud and obnoxious creatures, such as himself. It was as if destiny had drawn the city and the crime lord, Hutt, together.The Mangini of Gang Greenie was just out of place. Rexa is where he belongs. A squad that proclaims the title "Gang Green" and a crime lord to lead them, sounds like a perfect match.

Week 2: Rexa the Hutt schematics

     He opens up to the media like they are his personal diary and the microphone is his pen. He cries, gloats, predicts, and above all, he eats womp rats in mass quantities. He's a football coach, has a foot fetish, and loves pig feet. 

     Rexa had many loyal minions, but after his unsuccessful attempt keeping Calrissian as a Jet pilot for his squadron and losing the faith of some of his former pilots by unfulfilled, bold predictions of victory, people began to question his leadership. Rexa has gone with the "out with the new and in with the old" approach this time by bringing in veterans. Plaxico-pilot is one of the new Jet aviators. He has been assigned to the turret on Captain Dirty Sanchez's ship. I wouldn't be too worried though. Rumor has it, he has terrible aim... 

Week 3: Rexa's tendencies (the meat and potaTOES)

2010 Defensive stats:

291.5 YPG: ranked 3rd in NFL

90.9 Rushing YPG: ranked 3rd in NFL

200.6 Passing YPG: ranked 6th in NFL

46 sacks: ranked 5th in NFL

Notes: Rexa prefers the defensive side of the force. He has led two solid defenses for two different squads. He incorporates aggression and confusion into various assault packages. We must exploit holes in this defense with the upgraded weapons we have acquired. It is your jobs (and the coaching staff's) to figure out ways to do so.

If you have made it to this point my young padawan, I want to congratulate you. Complete your training is not. Darth Hoody and the plan of attack on the Death Star, we must study. We shall examine these plans before Monday. May the force be with you! 

I will leave you today with this question. How can we exploit the aggressiveness of Rexa the Hutt's defense with our new weapons or generally speaking?

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Phinsider's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of The Phinsider writers or editors.

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