FanPost

Is ‘Suck 4 Luck’ a coherent proposition?

I will begin by stating clearly at the outset that I am not making any moral judgments on how people choose to root for their team.  In this post, I will only analyze the position that sees ‘suck 4 Luck’ as a valid course of action and will not address any fan’s desire to see the team perform poorly in order to ensure we get Andrew Luck.  Cheer however you want.  If you have given up on this season and wish to see us get a draft pick high enough to claim this talented college QB, I cannot help but see that as at least one reasonable point of view.  So long as the word ‘should’ does not appear in your choice to root for next season rather than this one, I can only respect your decision (others will clearly disagree).

My concern is with the very odd notion that we ‘should’ suck for Luck.  One comment claimed that we need to give up on the season “so we can get Luck,” speaking as if there were a causal connection between the two.  A post went so far as to give a plan of action, including keeping Sparano in all season and starting Devlin.  In my opinion, the claim we “should” suck for luck, is an incoherent statement (for those who like big words, I could call it an ‘ontological fallacy’) as it does not point to any realistic aspect of how a professional sports team functions.

Now, please, do not misunderstand me.  I am not claiming that fans must be fully realistic.  If we were, we could hardly discuss the game considering our position as football outsiders (no pun intended).  Obviously, part of the pleasure of being a fan, especially being a fan on a fan forum, is the fantasy that we are in the position of GMs, coaches and players.  When we use the term ‘should’, we express this fantasy. When we say, “We should have drafted Ryan Mallett,” we are, on some level, putting ourselves in the position of GM.  When we question a redzone play call, we are, on some level, imaging that we are the OC.  When we say that Henne made a smart decision, we express what we might have done if we were in his shoes.  All of these conversations are based on a vivid imagination in which our own expertise, born of the love of the game, is played out in a virtual realm where our decisions carry weight.  It is a fantasy, but it is also part of the fun of football.

Turning to ‘suck 4 Luck’, I am of the opinion that it fails even as an imagined team goal.  Speaking for myself, I only enjoy speculation regarding what the team should do if I can believe that the team can realistically make that decision.  Perhaps I am off base, but I believe most of us are the same in this regard.  During the offseason, we enjoy discussing who we should draft.  The conversation, however, would quickly disintegrate if people were to consistently claim that we should draft five of the top 10 first round prospects.  Obviously, this is impossible and would eventually kill any fun we might have in discussing it.

I believe the same is true of the notion ‘suck 4 luck’.  My question is, who is it in the Dolphins organization that would implement this plan intentionally?  (Unintentionally, that may be happening as we speak, but that is a different conversation.)  Is it the coaches?  Will they purposefully decide to call bad plays to ensure we lose?  That seems highly unlikely.  These are men who may very well be looking for a new job in January, and they will have a much higher chance of getting one if their resume shows that they were able to pull together some wins even when the team is in shambles.  Sparano will not be a HC next season, but he might be an assistant, and a team may place a premium on him if they think he can be good assistant HC who can step up in case of emergency.  That premium goes down if he tanks the season.  Maybe it will be Henne?  Of course not!  He is playing for his future.  Perhaps Ross?  But, how exactly will he tank the team?  Will he pay someone off to do it?  That is too absurd to even address.  In the end, this is a team of professionals.  Perhaps they aren’t the most competent, and haven’t fielded a satisfactory product, but they also gain nothing individually by tanking the season.

The result of this little thought experiment is that we cannot identify who would actually do the “sucking”, at least purposefully.  In that way, it fails even as fan speculation.  As noted, this is not a problem for those who simply want to root for losses.  Considering some of the aggressive statements essentially saying “we have to suck for luck”, as if it were imperative, its unreality is quite ironic.  So, I do not believe "suck 4 luck" is a coherent proposition.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Phinsider's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of The Phinsider writers or editors.

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