This Was Offensive!

There were a few small issues with the offense last night, as the Miami Dolphins battled the New England Patriots, but the offense played hard and fought well. You expect some mental errors and miscommunication in the first game of the season. But, overall, Henne looked SOLID, throwing for over 400 yards and running for almost 60. He and this offense played like monsters, and should not be beaten down by anyone for what they did in my opinion. I was proud of them last night. When you give it all you've got, and still lose, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

Marshall looked like THE BEAST, eating up the defense for 139 yards. Reggie Bush looked good, too. Hartline had a solid game. The line had some leaks, but they played their guts out, and left everything they had on the field. They will improve as time passes this season. I am not worried one bit about our O-side. Daboll called a good game. Not perfect, but, after sitting through Dan Henning; it seemed pretty amazing.

Now, to the Miami defense. What the hell happened to you guys? You came in with red mustaches from drinking your own Kool Aid. You thought that you'd just brush past the NE O-line and eat Brady alive. Well, guess what? This is the New England Patriots, and they don't care how highly you think of yourselves! What a load of crap that was last night. I'm going to make 5 points about our offensive defense. I've tried to sit and calm down before writing this, but, I'm still morbidly pissed off, so please, bear with me. I'm more wounded fan than unbiased writer right now.

5 Disgusting Points About The Miami Defense Last Night

1) Fundamentals! Fundamentals! Fundamentals!

This Defense looked out of shape, out of sync, out of determination. Brady went no huddle, and they were sucking wind like fat old guys on a hundred degree handball court. All of them! Cam Wake, when he managed to peel himself from between that big rookie's cleats, looked like an asthma attack having a heart attack having a temper tantrum. The "greatest tandem in the league" were cramping and huffing like wounded greyhounds. YOU WERE AT HOME! You practice here! You have the finest trainers, equipment and workout programs available to you DAILY. And you show up for the Pats sucking air like a Hoover? WTF guys?! That is a disgrace. You should be ashamed.

2) Pressure?

There was hardly any pressure on the greatest QB playing the game today. And, I have 517 pieces of evidence to prove it. This is the friggin NFL! If you give the worst QB in the league that much time in the pocket, he'll destroy you! But, giving Brady that much time is like sticking your balls in the waffle iron! And, you got what you get when don't get pressure. You got housed. 99 1/2 yards to Welker! God! We, as fans, wanted to throw the remote through the screens, or leave our seats, and go drink away that kind of kick in the guts. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the stadium to kill that pain!!! You should be ashamed.

3) Physical Coverage?

There was hardly any coverage to speak of in this mugging. The NE tightends just ran you over, and kept going. You looked more like roadkill than pro football players. Hernandez and Gronk are still picking pieces of you out of their shoes. And the safety play was HORRIBLE! Where were you when Welker was taking a LONG stroll through Sun Life Stadium like it was a sunny day in the effing park? Where were you when Brady was playing catch with his receivers like it was the effin Labor Day picnic barbeque? You were in the wrong places. Bad reads. Poor conditioning. Soft coverage. Mental errors. You should be ashamed.

4) Defending The Run

When Tom saw you were focused on the pass, he went to the run, and caught you on the backs of your heels. You missed tackles. You got TRUCKED by Danny Woodhead! That’s like getting knocked out by a newborn puppy dog. You looked like a bad joke. You should be ashamed.

5) Heart

A pro football team must have heart to win. You guys left yours at home yesterday. This was our rival; our nemesis; and you looked like shit. And, you folded like paper friggin bags! There was no fight put up. You were all dragging asses and stupid sad faces out there. You look as if the Pee Wee team from Miami Beach could have flattened you. You should be ashamed.

Look, I'm the biggest homer in the world, and everybody knows it. But, even I have to point and call a penalty on this defense last night. This defense was destroyed because they deserved to be destroyed. Fix it! Run more sprints. Learn your assignments. Bring your balls to the damn game next week, because the Texans are a-coming, and they ain't kidding either. If you don't get it fixed, then you're going to get housed again.

Sporano and Nolan deserve better from you. Your offense, who was battling their guts out, deserves better from you. The people of Miami deserve better from you. You deserve better from yourselves. You are a great group of players, but only when you come to play. And, after theway you DIDN'T PLAY plast night . . . YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Phinsider's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of The Phinsider writers or editors.

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