FanPost

Facts and Tribute to the God, Tom Brandstater



According to Omar Kelly, Tom Brandstater has been waived by Miami and replaced by mere mortal, Kevin O'Connell. While Omar will probably be striken with a thousand lightning bolts, I am dedicating to this post to the great one in hopes to be spared by the wrath about to ensue. I leave with you TRUE, PROVEN facts (check google for real) on Tom Brandstater, and if you too wish to be saved of an excruciating death please feel free to add your own comments below which I will gladly add to the list.

 

"These other QB's are mere sacrifices to the great one"- FinfanfromCA

"The great brandstater eats his kind for breakfast"- AnishB15

"Brandstater is 7 feet tall and consumes DB's with fireballs from his eyes and lightning bolts from his ass"- BravePhin

"Chuck Norris sleeps in a Brandstater jersey"- GradedFintastic

"Brandstater was built in a log cabin that he built with his own hands"- PhrozenPhish

"TB can kill two birds with one stone, and gargle peanut butter (simultaneously i might add)"-PhinnyHenne28

"The Brandstater cannot exist on this mortal coil in his true glorious form. His magnificence would destroy the world"-Souwantmyname

"Brandstater is a god, sent down from the heavens to lead us to glory"-Gatorfan4life

"When Brandstater throws, the ball magically disappears and appears in the receiver's hands"- Kdog

 

"30% of Tom Brandstater's throws have a 100% change of getting completed"- southfloridamammalsfan

 

"NO ONE CAN REPLACE THE ONE TRUE GOD."- Patssuck456

 

"Tom Branstater does not do push ups, he pushes the world down!!"- 21 Dave

 

"Dan Marino wishes he'll be like Tom Brandstater when he grows up."- dolger

 

"When Alexander Graham Bell first used the telephone, he noticed he had 2 missed calls from Tom Branstater"- AlejandroN

 

"When Brandstater takes a shower, the soap gets clean." Unclefinster

 

"In college, Tom Brandstater and his team were at their own 1-yard line... and he proceeded to throw a 110 yard TD pass... to HIMSELF"- MikeD954

 

"Women get pregnant just by Tom entering a room."-dolphinfan4lyfe

 

"Everyone knows Tom Brandstater's pet rock... he named it "Earth."-Im_an_F18_bro

 

"Every time Tom Branstater goes for a swim. Dolphins appear. (even in the pool)"-naf snihplod

 

 

Angel_20of_20death_2001_medium

Artist's rendition of Tom Brandstater, not in uniform.

 

 

 

If you're completely lost, the Brandstater phenomenon was a web craze that started here on the Phinsider when a celestial being appeared and procalimed Tom Brandstater to be our true leader. Not of the team, but of the entire planet. Just go with it, trust me, you don't want to anger the great Brandstater.

 

Thx for reading and Viva Brandstater!

 

B- (aka sworn cardinal of the Church of Brandstater)

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Phinsider's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of The Phinsider writers or editors.

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