If you are new to the series, the other day I started to dabble into the idea of making a Star Wars version of the Miami Dolphins soap opera of the last few years. I will keep it as relevant as possible and as close to the original Star Wars story line as I can (though I may stray at times). It started as just a little joke but I got such great feedback from you guys that I decided to write some more and possibly do a series. I've been off from work for the past 2 days so I wrote up the next chapter in this exciting saga. I wanted to get this out before we get flooded with posts on the next preseason game. I had you all vote and you decided you wanted more. So without further ado, I present to you:
Phin Wars Episode IV: A New....O.C. Enter:John Williams
Years after the completion of the Death Star (New England Patriots), the rebel alliance (the rest of the AFC East) were at the mercy of the superiority of the empire. For a decade they have owned all sectors of the AFC East quadrant. Suddenly, New York brings in Rexa The Hut and the Jets break away from the rebellion. They felt like they were now the (no-class) class of the AFC East. The manipulative, grotesque, ill-mannered, sloppy, slimy, disgusting, obese, slug-like creature, Rexa The Hut, recruited the long time Miami rebel, Jason Taylor-Calrissian.
Calrissian once was a strong ally of the Miami rebellion but he joined the dark side in a time of desperation. It seemed as though he had double crossed us, but he was just doing what was necessary to live and fight another day. Eventually, Calrissian returned back to where he belonged as a shift in power occured. Unfortunately he was not the chosen one and did not bring balance to the force. But wait, there's another...
This was a hectic time for Miami. The rebellion was outnumbered by it's enemies. Rexa The Hut, Darth Hoodie, and finally, the puppet master, Lord Goddell. They were all enemies of the rebellion.This was a time when a communication breakdown took place between the Federation and the Republic. The result was a work stoppage and a complete lockout of the cadets from their squadrons.
The Dolphins had been grooming the one whom they had thought to be the chosen one, Young Chadakin Slowalker, who had a midichlorian count that was off the charts. Obi Wan Dabolli, Slowalker's new mentor, assured the Front Office Council that he was to master the ways of the Quarterback through his training. "Agree with you the council does. Your apprentice Slowalker will be." The council, under Master GM Jeff Yodaland, approved of this and provided the young padawan Quarterback with weapons. He had the Millenium Marshall to bail him out of trouble, a Bess Ray, which was always a reliable weapon and a Bush Light....Saber. The tools were now provided. It was up to Slowalker to let go of Chancellor Palpatine's dark influence and use the force. Use the force Chadakin...Let go... Remember, the force will be with you...always.
It seemed as though Miami had found their solution to the imbalance in the AFC East. That is until Lord Goddell tried to block the training of the young padawan during the lockout. However, Obi Wan Dabolli, defied Lord Goddell, secretly and illegally provided him with a new book of training to further his command of the Quarterbacking aspect of the Force.
The plans to destroy the N.E. Death Star have been uploaded into the droid robot, Chad2D2, named and designed to resemble his creator Chadakin Slowalker. The slow-moving, robotic droid, which lacked leadership skills, had a message stored in it's memory drive that said "help us Obi Wan Dabolli, you're our only hope!" It was a message recorded by the Miami fan base and was to be delivered to Dabolli, their new hope...their new O.C. Also included were the plans on how Miami could destroy the N.E. Deathstar. The plans were studied for years by Dolfans. It took mass computing powers to assemble this plan of attack. Dolfans hired the most brilliant minds to come together for this common goal of dethroning the perennial AFC East Champions. The answer they came up with is..... going to be revealed in the next episode : P May the force be with you!
I want to give flip-her credit for his imput. Thanks for your suggestions.
These are YOUR Greatest Hits from my previous post "Phin Wars! Grown His Powers Have" that really returned the favor and gave me a good laugh. These are my top 5 favorite, starting with #5. You guys are great!
#5 BSerious72 said "I want to hear about Henne’s duel with Jabba the Rex and Darth Hoodie."
#4 SlotMachinePlayer said "You could talk about all of the new Wookies they drafted."
#3 Strange said Hazing a rookie is much safer than hazing a wookie
#2 Flip-Her said "The Emperor [Goodell] tried to block the training of the young Padiwan! However, Obi Wan Dabolli…defying the Emperor…secretly and illegally provided him with a new book of training, to further his command of the Force." <- I liked this so much I used it in this episode. Thanks Flip!
#1 I'm_an_F18_bro pretty much killed it with these!!!!
-Henning’s defiance I sense in you. Need that you do not. Agree with you, the Council does. Your apprentice young Henne will be. -Yoda to Daboll
PhrozenPhish said "We all know who will be Jetta the Hutt."
Magic Dolphin said (as he corrected one of my poll options)
Will the saga live on? Decide, you must.
I need to know what happens next! More Phin Wars, we require! (54 votes)
Light saber to the gut sounds more appealing! (3 votes)
Once again, I couldn't care less. (4 votes)
61 total votes