I went to the game last night.  Well, THAT was $75 well spent.  Good thing I had a few $9.50 Bud Lights to console me.  I am not going to rehash the play by play, because it has been (and will continue to be) beaten to death around here over the next few days.  

While sitting in my $75 seat, double fisting my $9.50 bottles of fermented water, I decided to do my best Walter Mitty impression (Google it) and allow my mind to wander off to avoid the horrific atrocity taking place live in front of me.  What my mind uncovered could be the most horrifying situation a Dolphin fan could possibly imagine.  A scenario that makes "Sophies Choice" (Google it) seem like trying to decide between vanilla or chocolate ice cream.

What if:

It is week 17 of the 2011 NFL season.  The Dolphins are, say 0-15, and in the lead, by a nose, in the race to the bottom for Andrew Luck.    Their destiny is in their own hands, obviously meaning that a loss garauntees us the number one pick, while a win would relegate us to the dreaded number 2 pick.  Now I don't care if you are a card carrying, flag-waving member of the "Always win no matter what" club, I think you would agree that this might be the day you turn the other way and kinda root against the team.  But let me add a little something to the pot here:  That last game is against the Jets.  How would you feel if beating the Jets that day would eliminate them from the playoffs?  Yeah, see?  Now what the hell do we do?  While this is a hypothetical at this point, it is certainly a very distinct possibility.  And as much as I covet Andrew Luck, I just don't know that watching the Dolphins lay down and single-handedly allow the Jets into the post-season is something I could ever really live with. 

I often, for shits and giggles, concoct hypothetical dillemas in my head, just for fun.  And 9 times out of 10, I can decide what course of action I would take.  But not this time.  It is a literal reenactment of the "Unstoppable force versus immovable object" question.  It is a situation that I cannot reconcile in my head.  I cannot land on a single outcome that wouldn't devastate me for years to come.  And I feel the need to torture you with it, as I shouldn't be the only one forced to deal with my psychotic, masochistic daydreams.

In other news....

Having had to bear witness in real-time to that disgusting display last night, I can say this with the utmost confidence:  This team did something that I never saw them do in 2007, they quit.  No doubt about it.  The players, the coaches, they all quit.  To me, the biggest sign that the franchise is in full "Suck for Luck" mode is that Tony Sparano still has a job, after his entire team checked out on national TV.  I can't help but feel the owner is simply afraid that any coaching change may actually spark the team and cost us draft position. 

And while the team goes about their business clearly not caring about the rest of the season, you and I are left to deal with the horror and the embarrasment of yet again being the worst team in the league. It is because of this that I can say the following:  You and I have earned the right to feel any way we want to about this team.  Apathetic?  Sure go ahead.  Disgusted?  You'd be insane not to be.  Optimistic?  Well, you are clearly in need of immediate psychiatric attention,  but that's your right.  Personally, I choose to root for the team on Sundays, as I have done for thirty years, yet acknowledge that silver lining dangling out there on Saturdays in Northern California. My point is that this franchise no longer deserves blind loyalty, or strong ticket sales, or national attention that is not centered around straight mockery.  They have earned the apathy/disdain/mockery, and are no longer worthy of my full-throated defense and support.  This is not me jumping ship.  It is simply a statement that I will not jump in to stop the beating.  I will, however, hope with everything that I have that this is exactly the kind of thrashing this franchise, and it's new owner need, in order to truly turn this franchise around.  So I hope the games are blacked out, and the stadium is half full and the apathetic fan base is the Monday morning headline of as many newspapers as possible.  And I hope it hurts Stephen Ross so deeply, psychologically and financially, that he becomes determined to never allow this to happen again.

And I sure am glad we specifically drafted "High character" guys, even if they were slightly less talented than other players available.  Where was the character last night when the whole team was running at half-speed?  What this says to me is that Jeff Ireland needs to be held accountable here as well...

Random thoughts....

- Brandon Marshall:  We were promised a great receiver.  We were misled.  9 catches and over 100 yards, primarily against the best corner in the league, would mean much more to me if you didn't drop everything that comes near you in the endzone.  And I won't even go into that phantom defensive back that pushed you out of bounds, preventing you from scoring a potentially game changing touchdown.  Like so many other aspects of this team, you have all the talent in the world, until it actually counts, then you disappear.  Thanks for nothing.

-  The good news of how overmatched this defense has been is that now when a new coach is brought in and wants new coordinators, it won't be nearly as painful to part with Mike Nolan as I thought it would be at the end of last year.

- As much my head tells me that we need to lose as many games as possible this year, there I was cheering like a madman when Bush broke that 35 yard run at the beginning of the game, and when we recovered that fumbled kickoff.  So I guess no matter what my head says, my heart always wins out...

- I am not a John Gruden fan, so it is with all sincerity that I thank ESPN for extending him for five years and offering him ridiculous money in the process.  At least know we know we won't have to watch him screw around with whatever young QB is being developed next year.

- What I did get to see at the stadium last night was Edmund Gates can really burn, as advertised.  He was running free deep down the field on a few occasions last night, with multiple defenders in his dust.  Now if we can just match him up with someone who can get him the ball....

- One more positive:  Mark Sanchez really, REALLY sucks.  It's funny to watch...

- Paging Cameron Wake.  Paging Cameron Wake.  Cameron?  Are you out there? Jesus, how did you turn to such shit in one year? Actually, thats a fair question for quite a few members of this defense...

Great, now all I have to look forward to is a World Series I couldn't care less about....