Porch time with Slats Thompson.*
OPhinions: "Hey Slats, haven't seen you around in a while."
Slats: "Well you're seeing me now. Grab a beer and and plop your bony ass down in the chair here."
OPhinions: "How's it hanging, Slats?"
Slats: "Lower and slower, young man.
"You know, one of the the problems with getting older is that your body doesn't always listen to what the mind is telling it to do. Say you're walking down the street, about to step off of the curb and cross the street when you see a bus speeding towards you out of the corner of your eye. So you stop suddenly.
"Or you would have 5 years ago. Today, you're a little older, your reactions times not quite what they used to be and splat - you're a hood ornament on the front of a bus. Such are the problems of age.
"This afternoon Brett Favre was splatted, a hood ornament on the Miami Bus. Let's face it, the old man is wearing down."
OPhinions: "He did have three picks, although only two were his fault."
Slats: "Yeah, sometimes his mind doesn't seem to listen to itself either. During 2 of his picks I imagined Brett's mind was saying 'NO, NO, DON"T THROW IT NOW!' but he pulled the trigger anyway. Later on during the post-game press conference, I'm guessing he described those passes as 'poor decisions' or 'regrettable'. I'm thinking 'Senility' would be a better word...."
Slats: "Word? What are you, an idiot? Anyway, he's still real damn good, but not quite what he was. Well, it's a long season and he's played 2 great defenses. I expect he'll have better games."
OPhinons: "Yeah, Brett can still throw some truly beautiful passes at times. I'm just glad this game wasn't one of those times. So you like the Dolphins D, do ya Slats?"
Slats: "Sure do. I think the Fins' D is gonna be known this year. And by known, I mean feared. Today was a good step in that direction."
OPhinions: "And on a national stage. Who'da ever thunk Clemons would be invisible today - except for a great pass defense - and I'd be screaming 'Jason Allen, I love you?'"
Slats: "Jason Allen, I love you? Geesh, you're embarrassing yourself here, kid. .Anyway, maybe the Trifecta actually knows a thing or two.
"Now, we have 2 more national conference games coming right up, so it's gonna be a lot of fun for a while. And I'm guessing a few more heart-attack endings.I can't wait. Just get the crash cart ready and turn up the volume. I really enjoy those type of games..."
OPhinions: "(You're nuts Slats)"
Slats: "What's that kid?"
OPhinions: "I think the Offense needs to score more."
Slats: That's what I thought you said. I agree. I still want to see the offense put 20+ points on the board. They'll need to at times this year. Maybe in a couple weeks against New England's D. We'll see. But don't be a half empty glass kind of guy. A win is a win is a win. Take the W, laugh like hell, and look forward to next week.
"So far, I like what I see. The Vikings have a real tough defense, and we did OK. Favre may be older, but he's still Favre. We've shown ourselves we can play with the best and beat the best."
OPhinons" "It's been a while since we started 2-0."
Slats: "With both on the road. You know, so far this season, the Fins give me a lot of hope. Today, they could easily have lost. Hell, Brown and Williams both fumbled in real bad spots. On Ronnie's 51 yard run, he should have powered through that tackle and gone on to score.
"But good teams win games maybe they shouldn't. That's how you know they are good teams. One week the offense picks up the slack, the next the defense picks up the slack. Last year, remember, we lost at the end to Indy and New Orleans. They both won a game from the Dolphins they shouldn't have and look where they ended up.
OPhinions: "So you think the Fins will go to the Superbowl?"
Slats: "Don't talk stupid. They might, but who cares right now. If you only view their season's success by how far they go in the playoffs, you're missing the point of being a fan, son. Football season is a journey, with each game to be savored and enjoyed.
"There are only 16 of them a season, and when they're gone, they're gone. So enjoy today. Celebrate each victory and agonize each defeat. Then get ready for the next game. Let the players worry about the long run. You just have fun with the weekly roller coaster rides as they happen.
"Well, enough of this weepy mumbo-jumbo BS I'm spouting. Hurry up and finish your beer and get the hell off of my porch. I'm going inside for awhile."
OPhinions: "See ya, Slats."
*Slats Thompson contributed to this post. He is a retired linebacker/tight end who played semi-pro ball for the Mt. Washington RiverRats. Slats mainly wore a leather helmet back then which explains some of the things that come out of his mouth. Nowadays he likes to sit on his porch, yell at the neighborhood kids who run in his yard, and shoot the shit about football. He is also an imaginary person, just one of the many voices in my head.