FanPost

Wipe my Sweat off, kid

So here I am, back again to do part 2 of my whenever the hell i feel like doing this posts on potential behind the scene guys for the Miami Dolphins...Now this second position is one of very very little recognition and quite, frankly the dirtiest...this position requires GREAT skill, skill that must be perfected and mastered beyond the level of a normal human being...this position is basically the team's bitch, otherwise known as the TOWEL BOY...This job entails awareness, ability to fold a towel, wiping sweat off of a grown sweaty and stinky men, doing the laundry, including washing the jock straps BY HAND (they are very delicate you know), ironing, and so on and so forth...

Potential Candidates include:

JoJo (some Jewish college in NY)...height: slightly taller than Nicky; weight: more than MHTD(?)...Jojo has shown outstanding awareness and a very sharp eye, he can spot a drop of sweat from 5 miles away, and with his BLAZING speed can wipe that drop off before the player even realizes he has started to sweat...his ironing and laundry folding need some work however, but with some tutoring from Martha Stewart he will be just fine...

Uncle Finster (college unknown)...height: chubaka; weight: Jar Jar Binks...Finster is incredible with photoshop, but unfortunately this will not help him here the slightest bit...maybe he can use his designs and put them on the towels...due to old age finster cannot see the sweat quite like jojo can, and obviously doesn't have the speed either, but he does have a ton of experience doing and folding laundry...he has no problem hand washing dirty sweaty jock straps, and is actually on record as saying that is his favorite thing to do...he does occasionally burn stuff while ironing, which can embarrass the team...

MrMedic (military)...Height: who the hell cares, he in the military; weight: Kimbo Slice...Medic is very unconventional, as a member of the wonderful U.S. military he has all the technology at his disposal...towels will become obsolete in the Dolphins locker room, instead he will just inject the players with a special substance (legal of course) that will prevent the players from sweating and also give them the ability to dry instantly after a shower...he has access to self cleaning, self ironing and self folding clothing of any kind...pretty much because of medic this job will become obsolete and not needed...he will revolutionize the sport...oh and if anyone tries to fuck with him or the team he will call in the '13th Dolphin infantry for back up...

 

I am going to refrain from announcing my choice for this position, but i encourage everyone to vote and voice their opinions in the comment section of this here post...

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via 4.bp.blogspot.com

 

Zac-efron-naked-shower-scene-thumb-425x5391_medium

via fashionindie.com


This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Phinsider's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of The Phinsider writers or editors.

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