Now i know there have been oodles of posts on this here terrific site regarding the draft and what the Dolphins should do, who should they pick, what position to attack first, and so on and so forth...but i am going to change it up just a bit...yes, this is post is still on the draft, but on a position that is not regarded as a need for the Dolphins, and a position that almost everyone regards as the most important in football...the WATERBOY...yes, without this key cog our players would dehydrate and possibly (god-forbid) die in practice and in a game...so i present thee with some possible candidates to upgrade this position for us...
Enhalen (Texas Tech)...height: unknown; weight: unknown...Enhalen brings a lot to the table, as a current soccer mom, he knows how to take care of rowdy children and is very used to making sure the soccer team is properly hydrated...He is slightly retarded, but can be taught how to pour water and deliver it to the players if properly taught...
MHTD (Ariz. State Univ)...height: 5'10; weight: 160; 40 time: 3.89; bench press: 75 reps...As a former employee of Starbucks, where he worked for 2 yrs, and a former barback/bartender for 3 months, MHTD has a ton of experience serving food and drinks to customers of all ages, sizes, and needs...He has great form mixing and pouring drinks, and performs best under pressure...he can pour at a rate of 1 shot per second and can steam milk in his sleep, and with his blazing running speed he can deliver the drinks as fast as humanely possible...As someone that dehydrates exceptionally faster than the average human, MHTD understands the importance of constantly staying hydrated and to drink whenever given the chance...this is what makes him the most highly coveted Waterboy on the market, which will make him very expensive
Little Nicky 21 (some culinary school in FL)...height: slightly shorter than a midget; weight: slightly more than a hippo...Nicky's cooking expertise will give him an advantage because, well, actually this job only involves water, so i don't know how his cooking will help, maybe he can cook up some flavored water?...but his short stature and homosexuality will surely be the butt of the team's jokes, allowing them to stay upbeat and loose, even in the most trying times...
TexasCowPunk (University of Mesopotamia)...height: n/a; weight: n/a...well it really is a miracle that he is still alive, he has to be a few thousand years old at least...his claim to fame is that he helped to develop the world's first water filtration system
As for my personal favorite and top choice is MHTD, but some may say i am a little biased...
Who is your top choice for Waterboy?
MHTD (13 votes)
Enhalen (8 votes)
Little Nicky (11 votes)
Tex (5 votes)
Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr. (aka Adam Sandler) (16 votes)
Other (2 votes)
55 total votes