BamaPhinzFan's 7 Round Mock....

by BamaPhinzFan on Apr 23, 2009 4:44 PM EDT

It took me a while but here it is...Comments/Criticism welcome....

First Round
---------------------
1. Detroit - QB Matthew Stafford, Georgia
2. St. Louis - OT Eugene Monroe, Virginia
3. Kansas City - LB Aaron Curry, Wake Forest
4. Seattle - OT Jason Smith, Baylor
5. Cleveland - WR Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech
6. Cincinnati - OT Andre Smith, Alabama
7. Oakland - WR Jeremy Maclin, Missouri
8. Jacksonville - B.J. Raji, Boston College
9. Green Bay - OLB Brian Orakpo, Texas
10. San Francisco - OLB Everette Brown, Florida State
11. Buffalo - OT Michael Oher, Ole Miss
12. Denver (f/CHI) - QB Marc Sanchez, USC
13. Washington - DE Aaron Maybin, Penn State
14. New Orleans Saints - CB/S Malcolm Jenkins, Ohio State
15. Houston Texans - OLB Brian Cushing, USC
16. San Diego Chargers - RB Knowshon Moreno, Georgia
17. New York Jets - WR Darrius Heyward-Bey, Maryland
18. Denver Broncos - DE Tyson Jackson, LSU
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - DE Larry English, N. Illinois
20. Detroit Lions (f/DAL) - ILB Rey Maualuga, USC
21. Philadelphia Eagles - TE Brandon Pettigrew, Oklahoma State
22. Minnesota Vikings - OT Eben Britton, Arizona
23. New England Patriots - LB Clint Sintim, Virginia
24. Atlanta Falcons - S Louis Delmas, W. Michigan
25. Miami Dolphins - CB Vontae Davis, Illinois
26. Baltimore Ravens - WR Kenny Britt, Rutgers
27. Indianapolis Colts - DT Peria Jerry, Ole Miss
28. Buffalo Bills (f/PHI) - DE Robert Ayers, Tennessee
29. New York Giants - WR Hakeem Nicks, North Carolina
30. Tennessee Titans - CB Darius Butler, Connecticut
31. Arizona Cardinals - RB Chris Wells, Ohio State
32. Pittsburgh Steelers - C/G Alex Mack, California

Second Round
---------------------
33. Detroit Lions - DT Fili Moala, USC
34. New England Patriots (f/KC) - ILB James Laurinaitis, Ohio State
35. St. Louis Rams - WR Percy Harvin, Florida
36. Cleveland Browns - OLB Clay Matthews, USC
37. Seattle Seahawks - QB Josh Freeman, Kansas State
38. Cincinnati Bengals - DE Michael Johnson, Georgia Tech
39. Jacksonville Jaguars - WR Brian Robiskie, Ohio State
40. Oakland Raiders - OT WIlliam Beatty, Connecticut
41. Green Bay Packers - DT Ron Brace, Boston College
42. Buffalo Bills - TE Jared Cook, South Carolina
43. San Francisco 49ers - OT Phil Loadholt, Oklahoma
44. Miami Dolphins (f/WAS) - OLB Connor Barwin, Cincinnati
45. New York Giants (f/NO) - OLB Marcus Freeman, Ohio State
46. Houston Texans - DT Evander Hood, Missouri
47. New England Patriots (f/SD) - TE Shawn Nelson, S. Mississippi
48. Denver Broncos - ILB Darry Beckwith, LSU
49. Chicago Bears - WR Brandon Tate, North Carolina
50. Cleveland Browns (f/TB) - RB Donald Brown, Connecticut
51. Dallas Cowboys - DE Jarron Gilbert, San Jose State
52. New York Jets - CB Alphonso Smith, Wake Forest
53. Philadelphia Eagles - RB LeSean McCoy, Pittsburgh
54. Minnesota Vikings - WR Derrick Williams, Penn State
55. Atlanta Falcons - CB D.J. Moore, Vanderbilt
56. Miami Dolphins - WR Louis Murphy, Florida
57. Baltimore Ravens - TE James Casey
58. New England Patriots - S Rashad Johnson, Alabama
59. Carolina Panthers - DT Sen'Derrick Marks, Auburn
60. New York Giants - ILB Jasper Brinkley, South Carolina
61. Indianapolis Colts - WR Austin Collie, BYU
62. Tennessee Titans - DT Roy Miller, Texas
63. Arizona Cardinals - DE/OLB Lawrence Sidbury Jr., Richmond
64. Pittsburgh Steelers - CB Sean Smith, Utah

Third Round
-----------------
65. Detroit Lions - S William Moore, Missouri
66. St. Louis Rams - CB Coye Francies, San Jose State
67. Kansas City Chiefs - DT Terrance Taylor, Michigan
68. Seattle Seahawks - S Patrick Chung, Oregon
69. Dallas Cowboys (f/CLE) - WR Ramses Barden, Cal Poly
70. Cincinnati Bengals - OT T.J. Lang, E. Michigan
71. Oakland Raiders - DE Paul Kruger, Utah
72. Jacksonville Jaguars - C Max Unger, Oregon
73. Green Bay Packers - DE Alex Magee, Purdue
74. San Francisco 49ers - RB Andre Brown, N.C. State
75. Buffalo Bills - OLB Cody Brown, Connecticut
76. New York Jets (f/NO) - Clinton McDonald, Memphis
77. Houston Texans - RB Shonn Greene, Iowa
78. San Diego Chargers - S Darcel McBath, Texas Tech
79. Denver Broncos - OLB Ashlee Palmer, Ole Miss
80. Washington Redskins - OT Jason Watkins, Florida
81. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - DT Chris Baker, Hampton
82. Detroit Lions (f/DAL) - CB Kevin Barnes, Maryland
83. Green Bay Packers (f/NYJ) - OT Troy Kropog, Tulane
84. Denver Broncos (f/CHI) - DE Carvey Irvin, Georgia
85. Philadelphia Eagles - WR Jarett Dillard, Rice
86. Minnesota Vikings - CB Jairus Byrd, Oregon
87. Miami Dolphins - DT Myron Pryor, Kentucky
88. Baltimore Ravens - OLB Tyrone McKenzie, South Florida
89. New England Patriots - QB/WR Pat White, West Virginia
90. Atlanta Falcons - TE Travis Beckum, Wisconsin
91. New York Giants - WR Mike Wallace, Ole Miss
92. Indianapolis Colts - ILB Darnell Ellerbe, Georgia
93. Carolina Panthers - CB Mike Mickens, Cincinnati
94. Tennessee Titans - WR Juaquin Iglesias, Oklahoma
95. Arizona Cardinals - C Antoine Caldwell, Alabama
96. Pittsburgh Steelers - DE Rashaad Jackson, Clemson
97. New England Patriots (comp) - G Duke Robinson, Oklahoma
98. Cincinnati Bengals (comp) - RB Rashad Jennings, Liberty
99. Chicago Bears (comp) - S Sherrod Martin, Troy
100. New York Giants (comp) - RB Kory Sheets, Purdue

Fourth Round
-----------------
101. Dallas Cowboys (f/DET) - CB Asher Allen, Georgia
102. Kansas City Chiefs - WR Quan Cosby, Texas
103. St. Louis Rams - ILB Jason Phillips, TCU
104. Cleveland Browns - OLB Orion Martin, Virginia Tech
105. Seattle Seahawks - OLB Zach Follett, California
106. Cincinnati Bengals - C Eric Wood, Louisville
107. Jacksonville Jaguars - DT Dorell Scott, Clemson
108. Miami Dolphins (f/OAK) - DE Mitch King, Iowa
109. Green Bay Packers - OLB Kirston Pittman, LSU
110. Buffalo Bills - G Kraig Urbik, Wisconsin
111. San Francisco 49ers - WR Brandon Gibson, Washington State
112. Houston Texans - S Emmanuel Cook, South Carolina
113. San Diego Chargers - OT Jamon Meredith, South Carolina
114. Denver Broncos - CB DeAngelo Smith, Cincinnati
115. New York Jets (f/WAS) - QB Nate Davis, Ball State
116. New Orleans Saints - OLB Moise Fokou, Maryland
117. Dallas Cowboys - G/T Herman Johnson, LSU
118. New Orleans Saints (f/NYJ) - CB Cary Harris, USC
119. Chicago Bears - OT Gerald Cadogan, Penn State
120. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - OLB Anthony Heygood, Purdue
121. Buffalo Bills (f/PHI) - DE Kyle Moore, USC
122. Houston Texans (f/MIN) - LB Gerald McRath, Southern Mississippi
123. Baltimore Ravens - C Jonathan Luigs, Arkansas
124. New England Patriots - OT Garrett Reynolds, North Carolina
125. Atlanta Falcons - OLB Anthony Felder, California
126. Oakland Raiders (f/MIA) - S Chip Vaughn, Wake Forest
127. Indianapolis Colts - OLB Jonathan Casillas, Wisconsin
128. Carolina Panthers - DE Matt Shaughnessy, Wisconsin
129. New York Giants - S Derek Pegues, Mississippi State
130. Tennessee Titans - DT Ricky Jean-Francois, LSU
131. Arizona Cardinals - TE Cornelius Ingram, Florida
132. Pittsburgh Steelers - WR Patrick Turner, USC
133. San Diego Chargers (comp) - ILB Mortty Ivy, West Virginia
134. San Diego Chargers (comp) - OLB Brandon Williams, Texas Tech
135. Tennessee Titans (comp) - DE Henry Melton, Texas
136. Indianapolis Colts (comp) - RB Cedric Peerman, Virginia

Fifth Round
--------------
137. Seattle Seahawks (f/DET) - RB James Davis, Clemson
138. Atlanta Falcons (f/STL) - DT Vance Walker, Georgia Tech
139. Kansas City Chiefs - ILB Scott McKillop, Pittsburgh
140. Chicago Bears (f/SEA, f/DEN) - DE Michael Bennett, Texas A&M
141. Philadelphia Eagles (f/CLE) - CB Bradley Fletcher
142. Cincinnati Bengals - CB Victor Harris, Virginia Tech
143. Atlanta Falcons (f/OAK) - TE David Veikune, Hawaii
144. Jacksonville Jaguars - WR Mohammed Massaquoi, Georgia
145. Green Bay Packers - TE Chase Coffman, Missouri
146. San Francisco 49ers - G Greg Isdaner, West Virginia
147. Buffalo Bills - OT Bobby Lepori, Fresno State
148. San Diego Chargers - Joshua Mauga, Nevada
149. Denver Broncos - QB Rhett Bomar, Sam Houston St.
150. Washington Redskins - OLB Lee Robinson, Alcorn St.
151. New York Giants (f/NO) - CB Woodny Turenne, Louisville
152. Houston Texans - CB Donald Washington, Ohio State
153. Philadelphia Eagles (f/NYJ) - DT Sammie Lee Hill, Stillman
154. Chicago Bears - G Andy Levitre, Oregon State
155. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - QB Stephen McGee, Texas A&M
156. Dallas Cowboys - DT Terrance Knighton, Temple
157. Philadelphia Eagles - S David Bruton, Notre Dame
158. Minnesota Vikings - DT Darryl Richard, Georgia Tech
159. Philadelphia Eagles (f/NE) - DE Maurice Evans, Penn State
160. St. Louis Rams (f/ATL) - RB Javon Ringer, Michigan State
161. Miami Dolphins - G Trevor Canfield, Cincinnati
162. Baltimore Ravens - DE Ra'Shon Harris, Oregon
163. Carolina Panthers - G Louis Vazquez, Texas Tech
164. New York Giants - TE Cameron Morrah, California
165. Indianapolis Colts - OT Xavier Fulton, Illinois
166. Dallas Cowboys (f/TEN) - S Kevin Ellison, USC
167. Arizona Cardinals - DE Demonte' Bolden, Tennessee
168. Pittsburgh Steelers - S Courtney Greene, Rutgers
169. Pittsburgh Steelers (comp) - WR Johnny Knox, Abilene Christian
170. New England Patriots (comp) - OT Khalif Mitchell, East Carolina
171. San Francisco 49ers (comp) - QB Graham Harrell, Texas Tech
172. Dallas Cowboys (comp) - OLB Stryker Sulak, Missouri
173. Tennessee Titans (comp) - OLB DeAndre Levy, Wisconsin

Sixth Round
-----------------
174. Detroit Lions - DT Adrian Grady, Louisville
175. Kansas City Chiefs - RB Devin Moore, Wyoming
176. Atlanta Falcons (f/STL) - OT Fenuki Tupou, Oregon
177. Cleveland Browns - TE John Phillips, Virginia
178. Seattle Seahawks - CB Ryan Mouton, Hawaii
179. Cincinnati Bengals - ILB Worrell Williams, California
180. Jacksonville Jaguars - S Michael Hamlin, Clemson
181. Miami Dolphins (f/OAK) - CB Keenan Lewis, Oregon State
182. Green Bay Packers - OLB Jason Williams, Illinois
183. Buffalo Bills - C A.Q. Shipley, Penn State
184. San Francisco 49ers - ILB Antonio Appleby, Virginia
185. Denver Broncos - S Curtis Taylor, LSU
186. Washington Redskins - G Jaimie Thomas, Maryland
187. Green Bay Packers (f/NO) - S Anthony Scirrotto, Penn State
188. Houston Texans - DE Rulon Davis, California
189. San Diego Chargers - DE Everette Pedescleaux, N. Iowa
190. Chicago Bears - CB Lydell Sargeant, Penn State
191. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - FB Quinn Johnson, LSU
192. Detroit Lions (f/DAL) - G Travis Bright, BYU
193. New York Jets - RB Gartrell Johnson, Colorado St.
194. Philadelphia Eagles - RB Marcus Thigpen, Indiana
195. Philadelphia Eagles (f/MIN) - OLB/S Nic Harris, Oklahoma
196. St. Louis Rams (f/ATL) - DT John Gill, Northwestern
197. Dallas Cowboys (f/MIA) - OT Augustus Parrish, Kent State
198. Baltimore Ravens - ILB Stanley Arnoux, Wake Forest
199. New England Patriots - FB Tony Fiametta, Syracuse
200. New York Giants - OT Joel Bell, Furman
201. Indianapolis Colts - C Brett Helms, LSU
202. Carolina Panthers - G Roger Allen, Missouri Western St.
203. Tennessee Titans - ILB Jamar Chaney, Mississippi St.
204. Arizona Cardinals - DT Marlon Favorite, LSU
205. Pittsburgh Steelers - C Keith Gray, UConn
206. Tennessee Titans (comp) - TE Tripp Chandler, Georgia
207. New England Patriots (comp) - CB Christopher Owens, San Jose St.
208. Dallas Cowboys (comp) - ILB Michael Tauiliili, Duke
209. Cincinnati Bengals (comp) - DT Will Johnson, Michigan

Seventh Round
---------------------
210. Dallas Cowboys (f/DET) - CB Brandon Hughes, Oregon St.
211. St. Louis Rams - QB Brian Hoyer, Michigan St.
212. Kansas City Chiefs - K David Buehler, USC
213. Seattle Seahawks - WR Deon Butler, Penn State
214. Miami Dolphins (f/CLE) - C Blake Schlueter, TCU
215. Cincinnati Bengals - P Kevin Huber, Cincinnati
216. Oakland Raiders - OLB Merrill Johnson, Auburn
217. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (f/JAC) - RB Arian Foster, Tennessee
218. Green Bay Packers - P Jacob Richardson, Miami (OH)
219. San Francisco 49ers - S Chris Clemons, Clemson
220. Buffalo Bills - S Stephen Hodge, TCU
221. Minnesota Vikings (f/WAS) - C Jon Cooper, Oklahoma
222. New Orleans Saints - RB P.J. Hill, Wisconsin
223. Houston Texans - OT Lydon Murtha, Nevada
224. San Diego Chargers - DT Antonio Dixon, Miami (FL) (**first of 2 players from the U...wow)
225. Denver Broncos - WR Demetrius Byrd, LSU
226. Pittsburgh Steelers (f/TB) - OT Robert Brewster, Ball State
227. Dallas Cowboys - QB Tom Brandstater, Fresno St.
228. New York Jets - TE Anthony Hill, NC State
229. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (f/CHI) - CB Brandon Underwood, Cincinnati
230. Philadelphia Eagles - CB DeAngelo Willingham, Tennessee
231. Minnesota Vikings - DE Will Davis, Illinois
232. Jacksonville Jaguars (f/MIA) - OLB Victor Butler, Oregon St.
233. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (f/DAL) - S Keith Fitzhugh, Mississippi St.
234. New England Patriots - CB Joe Burnett, Central Florida
235. Denver Broncos (f/ATL) - RB Glen Coffee, Alabama
236. Indianapolis Colts - CB Bruce Johnson, Miami (FL)
237. Miami Dolphins (f/CAR) - S Otis Wiley, Michigan St.
238. New York Giants - OLB Kaiuha Maiaua, USC
239. Tennessee Titans - CB Glover Quin, New Mexico
240. Arizona Cardinals - G Tyronne Green, Auburn
241. Pittsburgh Steelers - DT Ernest Mitchell, Arkansas
242. Tennessee Titans (comp) - OT Andrew Garnder, Georgia Tech
243. Washington Redskins (comp) - C Alex Fletcher, Stanford
244. San Francisco (comp) - CB Lardarius Webb, Nicholls St.
245. Seattle Seahawks (comp) - TE Jared Bronson, Central Washington
246. Chicago Bears (comp) - OLB Cody Glenn, Nebraska
247. Seattle Seahawks (comp) - DE Cyril Obiozer, Texas A&M
248. Seattle Seahawks (comp) - G Rich Ohrnberger, Penn State
249. Cincinnati Bengals (comp) - S Trimane Goddard, North Carolina
250. Jacksonville Jaguars (comp) - G Andy Kemp, Wisconsin
251. Chicago Bears (comp) - WR Tiquan Underwood, Rutgers
252. Cincinnati Bengals (comp) - G Cornelius Lewis, Tennessee St.
253. Jacksonville Jaguars (comp) - CB Captain Munnerlyn, South Carolina
254. Arizona Cardinals (comp) - OT Alex Boone, Ohio State
255. Detroit Lions (comp) - WR Sammie Stroughter, Oregon State
256. Kansas City Chiefs (comp) - OT Sebastian Vollmer, Houston

This fanpost was written by one of The Phinsider's registered users.

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Comments

browns--> sanchez? quinn is pretty good..

im not sure about recievers though. brandon tate goin before harvin. and dillard going that high?

other wise pretty good.

I believe in John Beck and that Cbdolphin is the man. I'll make you proud LCFF
Official Leader of the Draft Kenny Britt Bandwagon
Longest Sig In the History of Phinsider belongs to Me. 53 Lines in Total.
Check it out.
Front Paged - Class of 08. and 09.

by finsxfactor on Apr 23, 2009 4:51 PM EDT reply actions

I agree.

I Phinsguy99 am creator of the, "Draft Brian Robiskie Bandwagon"

Co.- FinzD54

by Phinsguy99 on Apr 24, 2009 7:58 PM EDT up reply actions

I sure hope not

Unless you know something I don’t.

Not crazy about pick for the Phins besides Vontae.
I’m a bit confused at your WR selections too

Crabtree to the Bungles?

I do like Dillard to from Rice, I think he’ll be a sleeper. But 3rd round? He’ll go atleast two rounds after Barden who you have below him.

Potheads stick together? No way Brandon Tate goes before Percy Harvin. I’ll bet my life on that.

And HeywoodBey at 7? That would be a new all time low for Al Davis.

And 234=Joe Burnett, CENTRAL Florida. Come on my team has 1 player atleast get the school right lol.

This is not an easy thing to do but you got alot of questionable picks here.. i guess we’ll see SAT.

Laces out!

-2008 AFC East Champions-
Suck it Pats, Bills and most of all... the god damn jets.

Supporter of the Bash Brothers- Wilson and Bell.

[Creator of the Rey Maualuga Bandwagon...]

by BSerious72 on Apr 23, 2009 5:16 PM EDT reply actions

LOOLL

by finsxfactor on Apr 23, 2009 5:21 PM EDT up reply actions

(on the central florida thing)

by finsxfactor on Apr 23, 2009 5:21 PM EDT up reply actions

My bad...

I fix’d it for you..

It's better to keep your mouth shut and make people think your dumb, then to open it and remove all doubt..

by BamaPhinzFan on Apr 23, 2009 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions

I edited the WR's a little bit...

It's better to keep your mouth shut and make people think your dumb, then to open it and remove all doubt..

by BamaPhinzFan on Apr 23, 2009 5:26 PM EDT reply actions

you're nuts lol

but anybody with the balls to predict 256 picks is ok in my book, regardless of how you do lol. Nice job.

Phinsider HOF C/O 2009
Winner of Four 2008/2009 Matty Awards

by Little Nicky 21 on Apr 23, 2009 5:31 PM EDT up reply actions

picks 1-24

who cares

pick 25. britt
pick 26-256 still nobody cares

WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO

by finsxfactor on Apr 23, 2009 5:46 PM EDT up reply actions

fail

Phinsider HOF C/O 2009
Winner of Four 2008/2009 Matty Awards

by Little Nicky 21 on Apr 23, 2009 5:57 PM EDT up reply actions

you = mega fail lol (not this again...)

by finsxfactor on Apr 23, 2009 10:51 PM EDT up reply actions

Thank you...

I guess we’ll see who’s mock is better this Saturday…

It's better to keep your mouth shut and make people think your dumb, then to open it and remove all doubt..

by BamaPhinzFan on Apr 23, 2009 5:34 PM EDT reply actions

The Real Mock Draft....

DETROIT LIONS: Kevin Huber, P, Cincinnati
Let’s face it, the Lions have too many positions they need to improve, so they might as well nab the best punter on the board so they can at least hope to win the field position battle in the future. Every little step counts.

ST. LOUIS RAMS: Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia
After drafting Chris Long, Adam Carriker, and Brian Leonard early in the past two drafts, it’s obvious that the Rams front office is going by the BWPA (Best White Player Available) philosophy. Expect more of the same this year.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS: Connor Barwin, DE/OLB, Cincinnati
All NFL scouts are raving about Barwin’s potential, and compare him to a younger version of Mike Vrabel. Scott Pioli has Mike Vrabel, is familiar with Mike Vrabel, and can now have two Mike Vrabels. Mike Vrabel.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: Louis Vasquez, OG, Texas Tech
Wisely looking towards the future, Seattle drafts the strongest player at the combine, so he can carry Matt Hasselbeck’s frail, crumpled body off the field after every offensive series.

CLEVELAND BROWNS: Nate Davis, QB, Ball State
Nate Davis’ learning disability should hopefully spark Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson, who should realize, after watching Nate Davis struggle to pronounce words with three or more syllables, that they don’t have it as bad as other quarterbacks.

CINCINNATI BENGALS: Sammie Stroughter, WR, Oregon State
It worked when they drafted Chad Ochocinco, and it worked when they drafted TJ Hoosyermama. Can lightning strike three times for Oregon State receivers drafted by Cincinnati?

OAKLAND RAIDERS: Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
Oakland hopes that a 4-headed rushing attack can compensate for the complete lack of talent strewn throughout the rest of the roster.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: Ramses Barden, WR, Cal-Poly SLO
Barden has extensive experience playing for a team that nobody pays attention to or cares about, so he’ll be a perfect fit in Jacksonville.

GREEN BAY PACKERS: Louis Delmas, S, Western Michigan
Ted Thompson’s secret fetish for defensive backs who sport dreadlocks will compel him to make this pick, due to significant lack of dreadlocks in the later rounds.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS: Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
The 49ers feel like they have to make this pick just so Sanchez will shut the **** up about his Sprint endorsements.

BUFFALO BILLS: Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
The Bills always seem to choke at the end of the season when it counts most, so they’ll draft a player who will fit perfectly into that mold. “Beanie” played for an Ohio State team that blew two National Championships.

DENVER BRONCOS: Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
Inexperienced head coach Josh McDaniels claims “we had dibs on him first”, which leads to a lengthy and bitter custody battle in court, where eventually the 49ers and Broncos agree to swap Mark every other weekend.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS: Asher Allen, CB, Georgia
The Redskins didn’t expect to even have draft picks at this point, and their draft board is still arranged in alphabetical order.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
The Saints hope that finally, their dreams of achieving the perfect offense will be realized. Expect a full year of 60-50 shootouts, which will make Roger Goodell * his pants because of all the revenue he’ll make.

HOUSTON TEXANS: Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri
With Sage Rosenfels over in Minnesota, the Texans need a new backup quarterback who has an inexplicable and frustrating tendency to lose big games and turn the ball over in the final minutes.

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS: Jorvorskie Lane, RB/FB, Texas A&M
San Diego, with LT retiring, needs a new back to complement the shifty Darren Sproles. With 5’6 Sproles and 300 pound Jorvorskie Lane, the Chargers will finally claim the "Smash and Dash" title for a running back duo. Too bad Lane sucks though.

NEW YORK JETS: Pat White, QB, West Virginia
So here’s the situation. All draft experts seem to agree on one thing. The Jets need a quarterback, and they need a number one receiver to play on the other side of Jerrico Cotchery. Pat White is BOTH of those things AT THE SAME TIME.

DENVER BRONCOS: Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
The Broncos now have a quarterback to play on the weekends they don’t have Mark Sanchez.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: Graham Harrell, QB, Texas Tech
An avid Dragonball Z fan growing up, 16 year old head coach Raheem Morris believes he can teach his quarterbacks to fuse all of their skills into one uber-QB that the league won’t be able to stop. The arm strength of Brian Greise. The accuracy of Graham Harrell. The speed of Josh Johnson. The toughness and grit of Byron Leftwich. UNSTOPPABLE.

DETROIT LIONS: Jose Martinez, K, UTEP
The Lions are practically salivating at this pick. With the field position they’ll be getting from Kevin Huber, they hope that Martinez will be able to kick more 60 yard field goals like he did in college so they can actually score points.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: Phil Loadholt, OT, Oklahoma
"He’s really big so he must be really good derp derp derp" says Andy Reid upon making this pick. Eagles fans begin throwing themselves from the balcony of the Radio City Music Hall.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS: BJ Raji, NT, Boston College
The Vikings take the player on the board who is least likely to contribute at the quarterback or wide receiver position, just like they do every year. The number of broken bodies on the ground floor at the Radio City Music Hall begins to mount.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: Brian Cushing, LB, USC
Cushing, an obvious steroid user, has somehow eluded punishment despite his completely apparent methods of cheating. Sound familiar? This is the perfect pick for the Patriots.

ATLANTA FALCONS: Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
Wait a second, this pick actually makes sense. That’s not funny at all. Please ignore this section and continue reading.

MIAMI DOLPHINS: Quan Cosby, WR, Texas
After drafting 30 year old John Beck, the Dolphins will give him a target to throw to in Quan Cosby, who is at least four years older than every receiver in the draft class. It’s sort of like that movie The Program, which showed us that 40 year olds can still compete with college talent. Definitely realistic.

BALTIMORE RAVENS: Rey Maualuga, ILB, USC
Ray and Rey in the middle. Two ferocious hitters. Two team captains. Both on the field at once. The marketing practically writes itself.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: Mike Teel, QB, Rutgers
It’s time to start thinking about a future after Peyton Manning. The Colts hope that Teel’s enormous forehead and disgusting, horse-like face will make him a good quarterback like Peyton.

BUFFALO BILLS: Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
"What, did you not hear us the first time?" An enraged Bills front office asks. Luckily Chris Wells lasted another 17 picks, or they would have felt really stupid.

NEW YORK GIANTS: Austin Collie, WR, BYU
The Giants need a wide receiver to replace Plaxico Burress, but they don’t want one that will cause any trouble or shoot themselves in a nightclub. With that in mind, they take the best white receiver on the board.

TENNESSEE TITANS: PJ Hill, RB, Wisconsin
Now the Titans have a fancy name for their new three-headed rushing attack: Smash, Dash, and Trash.

ARIZONA CARDINALS: Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
All we need is one more elite receiver to win the Super Bowl, right?

It's better to keep your mouth shut and make people think your dumb, then to open it and remove all doubt..

by BamaPhinzFan on Apr 23, 2009 5:56 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs

I LOVE IT

Lions are the team to beat now. They’ll be kicking 14 FG’s a game and pinning teams inside the 5.

Laces out!

-2008 AFC East Champions-
Suck it Pats, Bills and most of all... the god damn jets.

Supporter of the Bash Brothers- Wilson and Bell.

[Creator of the Rey Maualuga Bandwagon...]

by BSerious72 on Apr 23, 2009 7:36 PM EDT up reply actions

LMAO

"How can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?"

-From the Unforgiven III off of Death Magnetic

by Patssuck456 on Apr 23, 2009 9:37 PM EDT up reply actions

lol

by finsxfactor on Apr 23, 2009 10:52 PM EDT up reply actions

RECiddity..

"I never met a man I didn't want to fight"
Lyle Alzado

08-09 No Award Winner

by NJDolphan68 on Apr 23, 2009 11:52 PM EDT up reply actions

Did you actually write that. That s**t is hilarious!

Exhaustive mock draft, by the way. The effort alone is impressive.

by kdock on Apr 24, 2009 1:34 AM EDT up reply actions

The Falcons Pick actually is funny now

because they have Gonzalaz

RONNIE BROWN GETS A TOUCHDOWN!

by Rytackle on Apr 24, 2009 7:16 AM EDT up reply actions

Very Funny (and not very busy) Man

NEW YORK JETS: Pat White, QB, West Virginia
So here’s the situation. All draft experts seem to agree on one thing. The Jets need a quarterback, and they need a number one receiver to play on the other side of Jerrico Cotchery. Pat White is BOTH of those things AT THE SAME TIME.

Pat White becomes the first QB in the history of the NFL to throw for over 6,000 yards; 2,000 of those yards to HIMSELF.

Joining the "Draft Sean Smith in the First Round" Bandwagon even though he could lift 225 lbs only 10 times

by DolphDallas on Apr 24, 2009 4:06 PM EDT up reply actions