Innovative Ideas...

by KCarr9 on Mar 15, 2009 6:26 PM EDT Comment 37 comments

The overwhelming majority readers of this fanpost will ride the suggestions off as asinine and ridiculous, and well, your probably right. These are the ideas that you've all thought of but realized they were too retarded to actually formulate into words. So ive reached deep into the inner mechanisms of my brain, and dragged out these intellectually small, yet revolitionary ideas, to transform your Miami dolphins into the Juggernaut we all know they can be!

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3021/2707080684_337c6e9156.jpg

via www.jeffsamardzijaonline.com

1. Yes thats right, we kidnap Jeff Samardzjia from the Chicago Cubs. Well not literally kidnap, but what if we somehow induced a Tommy John esque injury? We could force him to give up his baseball dream and become the physical beast of a reciever the miami dolphins need! He was a former 1st round pick before he signed with the cursed cubs. He's 6'5 and 220 pounds of record breaking irsih wide receiver, and Lord knows we could use him now.

via farm4.static.flickr.com

2. Yamamotoyama! ok so i dont know how to pronounce his name, but this guy weighs in at 252 kgs, thats about 555 pounds! Lets see Vince Wilfork try and move this guy, and the best part is, he just graduated high school. Think about it, all this guy does is push fat people around, lets teach him how to snap a football and get him out there!

via www.itrening.pl

3. Meet World Strongest Man, Mariusz Pudzianowski.

Bench Press: 275 kg (606 lb)

Squat: 360 kg (794 lb)

Deadlift: 395 kg (871 lb)

Yes, i really dont need to say much more, but he is 6'1, 291 pounds of pure, unroided muscle. Do have any clue of what we could do with him? Not really other than fullback, no matter how large i was.... I would shit my pants if he was coming out to block me..... and imagine him pulling!

via humankinetics.files.wordpress.com

4. Usain Bolt. Ok, so this isnt that original, but it's a good idea none the less. How much money can a track star make anyway? This guy seems like he would chase the cash money, and just look at those arms! He's stretch armstrong only he has gold medals, and isnt he like 6'6 or somthing? You can't teach what this guy has. Hire Brett Favre's retired ass to throw passes to him all day and make him catch the ball.... or just carefully apply some super glue.

via www.ufcmedia.com

5. Ok so i dont really know what we could do with Chuck Liddell, but he's pretty intimidating. I dont care how big you are, this guy would rip your throat out like Rambo. Hes scary to think about, and Bill Parcells would probably love this guy! He would give so many cheap shots to anyone who got within 5 yards of him, sign him to a one year deal and unleash him on Tom Brady's left knee!

PS. These are just fun ideas, i don't actually believe any of these ideas would work, so please don't act like im actually intellectually deficeint. Thanks!

This fanpost was written by one of The Phinsider's registered users.

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lol

Pretty Cool KCar. Clever idea with the Sumo Wrestler.lol

I Phinsguy99 am creator of the, "Draft Brian Robiskie Bandwagon"

Co.- FinzD54

by Phinsguy99 on Mar 15, 2009 6:59 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

LOL...OL coaches actually teach Sumo techniques...

I would be willing to bet that if you talked to an OL coach, he will have film of sumo wrestlers that he shows his players. They play with a great center of gravity.

by ct1361 on Mar 16, 2009 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'll bet ya that dudes Vernon Carey's long lost brother.

I Phinsguy99 am creator of the, "Draft Brian Robiskie Bandwagon"

Co.- FinzD54

by Phinsguy99 on Mar 16, 2009 8:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

and the hand-fighting that sumo-wrestlers do is great technique for OL.

Keep his hands off you and keep your hands in his chest, then just use leverage. OL and Sumo-wrestling are really close, other than the whole “grab his diaper and bodyslam” part.

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 16, 2009 10:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't know...

That a whole lot of manbreast in one post for me,,,,
:)

I say we get Rosie ODonnell and let her play center one a month,…

"I never met a man I didn't want to fight"
Lyle Alzado

08-09 No Award Winner

by NJDolphan68 on Mar 15, 2009 8:32 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

we'd have the most fumbles

between a center and QB in the league. She can’t stand a man’s hand down there.

Miami Dolphins 2008 AFC East Divison Champions

by HuskerDolphin on Mar 15, 2009 8:37 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

lol i was just gonna post that

too many shirtless dudes for one post. I went to Rzayo’s ITM and immediately was comforted by that bombshell French newscaster.

Laces out!

-2008 AFC East Champions-
Suck it Pats, Bills and most of all... the god damn jets.

Supporter of the Bash Brothers- Wilson and Bell.

[Creator of the Rey Maualuga Bandwagon...]

by BSerious72 on Mar 16, 2009 1:09 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

-1 rec lol

The 2009 Garo Yepremian Funny Like a Clown Award Winner
The 2009 Ricky Williams Picture Perfect Award Winner

by Rzayo24 on Mar 15, 2009 9:03 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

come on lol

I bet you were entertained while you read it

by KCarr9 on Mar 15, 2009 9:35 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

im messing with ya....funny stuff man

The 2009 Garo Yepremian Funny Like a Clown Award Winner
The 2009 Ricky Williams Picture Perfect Award Winner

by Rzayo24 on Mar 15, 2009 9:47 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

good to hear dude

by KCarr9 on Mar 15, 2009 10:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

wow

lol, love the sumo wrestler idea, cracked up when i read that…Usain would be terrible, cant imagine him being able to catch and plus he doesnt know a thing about the game…we could get some of the WWE guys, those guys are beasts and a lot of them played football in HS and/or college, so that wouldnt be too bad of an idea…

-"I'll weather whatever storm, Make it out without a bruise"
-"Even when winning illogical, losing is still far from optional"
-"Even the greatest gotta suffer sometime"
-"No excuses, No explanations"

by MiamihastheDolphins.... on Mar 15, 2009 9:08 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Usain wouldn't have to do anything football related

other than catch a pass mid-sprint. Run fast, catch ball, run fast. Easy lol

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 15, 2009 11:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

haha true

but he’ll stop in the middle to showboat, and cost us a TD lol

by MiamihastheDolphins.... on Mar 16, 2009 12:36 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

He can showboat for days

nobody’s gonna catch him lol

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 16, 2009 12:59 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

haha his 40 time is like 2.4

without pads…with pads its like 8.3

by MiamihastheDolphins.... on Mar 16, 2009 1:03 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'll go on a limb

and say his 40 would be in the 4.3 range. He starts slow. I still remember the semi-finals race in the Olympics. Broke down like this.

first 20m – last place.
20-40m – last place.
40-60m – first place.
60-80m – pulling away.
80-100m – dancing.

It was ridiculous. I’ve never seen a guy just turn it on like that. He made world-class Olympic medal winning sprinters look like 3rd graders in PE class. Incredible. One of the most amazing feats of sport I’ve ever witnessed in my life.

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 16, 2009 1:53 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

LOL funny stuff guys!

Last man standing for the record breaking "CKC Luncheon aka This Place is Ridiculous 2 days ago by Little Nicky 21"---1073 latest 2 days ago by uncle finster
are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite" -Mr Blonde-
"Creator of the(pie in the sky) trade our 1st one of our 2nds and two of our 7th rounders and "draft B. J. Raji" bandwagon On board Matty I's Besswagon On board L Nicky 21s Brandwagon

by uncle finster on Mar 16, 2009 2:12 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

yea he is insane and that race was one for the ages

he was my 2nd fave athlete in those games after the water beast that is Michael Phelps

by MiamihastheDolphins.... on Mar 16, 2009 2:38 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Way to think

outside Rosie’s box!

Nice diversion KC. Wait, where are you from?
Is this subterfuge?

Larry Little and I both wore 66 in our football careers. I think that means something.

I, Tunaflipper, am the creator of the "Draft DJ Moore Bandwagon"

by Tunaflipper on Mar 15, 2009 9:16 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Haha

Nah, im just a high school student 2 months away from going to the University of Florida Go Gators!

by KCarr9 on Mar 15, 2009 9:34 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Good Man!

I graduated in 06- you are gonna love it. The only advice you’ll need- go to EVERY home game (even when we play South East Jacksonville State Tech), and go to as many away games as you can. After you graduate, you’ll never be able to go to as many game’s as you’d like – and once you’ve been in the stadium it just isn’t the same at home.

"Right now he’s got to be one of the best players in America. He’s got the best first step . . .What he did to prepare for that game is what legends are made of." Urban Meyer on Percy Harvin
Lonely Leader of the Percy Harvin Bandwagon.

by GatorPhan on Mar 15, 2009 11:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

shouldn't be too hard

you guys play South East Jacksonville State Tech like 4 times a year ;-)

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 15, 2009 11:37 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah-

you probably would too if you had some actual football teams in your division (you know- the Almost College Conference) :p hehe.

by GatorPhan on Mar 16, 2009 12:58 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

haha at least we're actually forced to play the crappy teams.

Don’t think I forgot about Spurrier scheduling 3 DII teams in one season lol

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 16, 2009 1:24 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Fun!

Winner of All Movie Quote Challenges

by DolfinPhan on Mar 15, 2009 9:46 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Personally

I’m on board with The Iceman. He’s scary. Let him play free safety and just cold-cock Randy Moss one time. Moss will never run a pass route again.

Plus, his post-murderous hit celebration would be AWESOME lol

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 15, 2009 11:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Funny stuff dude

especially a baseball player in the NFL ROFLOL I cant stop laughing!:>)

by uncle finster on Mar 15, 2009 11:56 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

lol maybe you don't know who Jeff Samardzija is..

he was an absolute STUD as a WR at Notre Dame a few years ago.

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 16, 2009 12:00 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Jeez nicky

It was just a joke!

by uncle finster on Mar 16, 2009 12:10 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

bro

I lol’ed. Relax

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 16, 2009 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm no good at typing

I’m good at talking, its hard when you cant see the persons face, I thought you were a fan of JS or something. Nicky I’m new to typing and i don’t text, so i don’t know all the protocol. I still find it weird to talk to someone without seeing there eyes or hearing the inflection of there voice,wasn’t so cut me some slack! Now if you could see me say that last bit you would know i was joking but there’s no intent button( i think i saw husker write that once) and i may be thinking one thing but on paper it may not come across like that, I’m still learning :>)

by uncle finster on Mar 16, 2009 12:53 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

yeah it's rough to try and be sarcastic or make jokes online..

just doesn’t work too well.

We keep telling Matty to get on the tech team about giving us some kind of emotion indicator… but he’s too busy playing hotshot interviewer guy with Dolphins players lol…

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 16, 2009 1:02 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

LOL Tanx bro

Where i grew up Jersey/Statten Island, sarcasm is part of the culture, unfortunately i dont know how to communicate without sarcasm and its never meant or taken personally up here, its just funny. But i’ll have to work on it it may even be good for me, ya know like broccoli or somethin lol

by uncle finster on Mar 16, 2009 1:21 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

haha

trust me, both my parents were from Long Island, my whole family is NY Italians, all I get is sarcasm from them. Unfortunately, that’s one of the only things that really doesn’t translate at all to the internet. Probably the reason I use “lol” and the stupid little winking happy face so much lol ;-)

Winner of Three 2008/2009 Matty Awards
"Are We Doing This?"

by Little Nicky 21 on Mar 16, 2009 1:54 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

lol I Know exactly what you mean

but i forget to put em in, and when i do i think i’m using em too much! lol But theres my problem, there i go thinkin again! If god wanted me to think he would have given me a brain! :>)

by uncle finster on Mar 16, 2009 2:19 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs