Man it hurts - the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" is the ultimate agony in life. The regret, the unknown of what could have been. Everyone lost this weekend - and we all know what could have been going down this weekend when the Patriots come to town. Somehow by losing to the stinky Buffalo Bills, we actually improved our playoff hopes - but it doesn't feel like it. For NFL fans, the game is so cruel. On one hand you have the 5-6 Tennessee Titans - who feel like they are a force moving forward - winners of five in a row. On the other hand you have our 5-6 Miami Dolphins, coming off a loss to what was basically the fifth UFL team. Seriously - if those Bills were in neon green uniforms playing for the city of Mobile, Alabama under the name "The Tornados" - nobody would have blinked. What's done is done - I can't take back hyping JJ Johnson as the next Emmitt Smith - and the Phins can't take back Sunday's "we don't work today" Chick-Fil-A employee type effort neither.

  Some days you just wish you could hit the "do over" button. I am a firm believer in parallel universes - as in every single move you make influences your future. In this age of DVR and high tech gadgets, you would think that remote from the movie "Click" would be available to us by now. Sometimes you wish you could take back something you said; sometimes you wish you could take back something you did. Sunday I'm positive the Phins wish they could take back that effort. It's OK to lose - it happens. The loss to the Patriots this year bugged me less than any loss I can remember because we seemed to give our best - but the better team just prevailed. Games are definitely not won on paper - in any sport. In baseball, losing 60 of 162 games is thought of as amazing. In the NBA, if you lose just 20 of 82, you are thought of as one of the best teams of the decade. The problem (and greatness) with the NFL is that there are only 16 games played and every game matters. When you slip up and lose to a team you theoretically should have beaten, you are almost assured of regretting it later on. The fact that you play just once a week (in this case we had 10 days to prepare) makes poor, unenthusiastic efforts like Sundays just inexcusable. There's a reason the saying goes "any given Sunday" - and this Sunday we got a 3 hour lesson on just what that saying describes. If you know me - you know I don't harp on losses - or go into why or how we lost. I move on, because being a fan for 30 years has taught me before you know it Sunday is here again - and regardless of record or past performances - it's a chance to start from scratch. I'm as bummed as the rest of you. But what bums me more is I might only have 5 more weeks of having the opportunity to be disappointed. I think we can all agree - a Phins loss is better than no Phins at all. That may sound wrong - but when you think about it - it's true.

  Embarrassment - that is the feeling I am getting from the team after Sunday. Sometimes that's a great motivator. I'll use a personal example of that and share my most embarrassing moment of all time with you. I'll regret it - but whatever - looking back I can laugh. It all started with a girlfriend and I "documenting" something on my cell phone - that in retrospect I wish wasn't on something I keep in my pocket 24/7. So I'm doing a group presentation - and finish my portion. I sit down and go to look at a text I got - and hit the wrong button. Yeah - THAT button. Somehow I hit a button on my phone that sent you directly to playing the first, and only, 45 minute video in my memory - at a volume that would make you think I had a competition 40' inch woofer in my pocket. So I realize what is happening - and go turbo finger on my phone hoping to stop the inevitable. After about 20 seconds of looks and laughs I get up and Usain Bolt it towards an exit - in the meantime ripping my flip cell phone in half to end the agony. Thankfully it was the last class - and I was able to play it off when a laughing classmate grilled me on it. The point is that instant made me a better student - to this day I leave my cell phone in the car, which probably makes me pay about 500% more attention in class. So I guess what I'm saying is I hope the young players on this team are embarrassed, because that's the best way to not let this kind of poor performance happen again. I'd love to hear your most embarrassing moment of all-time in the comments section - it's only fair after sharing my epic one with you.

  It's official - the offensive play calling, at times, is getting down right ridiculous. Sometimes the easy boring path is the way to go. Just like how you don't ask your pilot to do anything crazy other than land the plane, the uneventful route is at times the 100% right way to go. We get it - it was a dynamite moment in Phins history to bring a formation into the NFL that was so genius, not only every NFL team uses it, but most NCAA teams as well. That's done - that's the past. The "too cute" stuff started when we drafted Pat White with a pick we almost certainly should have invested in a position of dire need - such as wide receiver (have you heard? our wide receivers...not do bueno). I give them a pass for that pick - draft picks are done - can't change them now. Ridiculous 1st and Goal Ricky Williams half-back passes into the middle of the field to an unproven tight end though, I take issue with. I'm not one to question play calling much - it's tricky - and I love a team that takes chances. I am one, however, to take to task a coaching decision that went against all reason and logic. When you pay $155 million for an offensive line - and your running back has methodically gained chunks of yards to start a drive - you DO NOT make that call. Maybe you make that call in a totally different situation, and game, but not against a defense you obviously can manipulate however you want. You have a fullback playing out of his mind that's about 99% guaranteed to get you 3 yards every time you feed him the ball. You have a running back that rarely gets you negative yardage on the goal line - and has scored double digit touchdowns this season - mainly in conventional fashion. You have a QB that is fully capable of rolling out and looking for a play action high percentage short toss, and has proven reliable if the right move is to throw it away. What you don't have is Tim Tebow and his signature ridiculous jump pass wearing number 34. THAT was the game changer - we scored the next time we got the ball. It would have been 14-0 if you just play the game without trying to put a bow and high heels on it - and from that moment on I knew we were in trouble. Once again - here's hoping a lesson was learned - we don't need to reinvent the wheel....or the redzone offense - we just need to get points when we have a chance. Because our defense? Not so clutch in a tight 4th quarter game. 49-0 in the last three in the fourth quarters. That stat makes sick.

  Do you believe in miracles? Yes!! I do - in sports they happen every year. Call it Cinderella. Call it the improbable underdog. Call it whatever you want. Being a Marlins fan, I subscribe to the "just get to the big show and see what happens" thinking. Last year we went on a big time late season run - why can't we do the same this year? Last year the Cardinals finished the season 9-7, and in the last few games were losing by an average of what seemed like 100. Last year we got in - that's all you can ask. Jets fans on the radio in the offseason made fun of the fact that we got booted in the first game. But we had something they didn't - a ticket to the lottery that is the NFL playoffs. Just like how you can't win the Powerball if you don't buy a ticket, you can't win the Super Bowl if you don't have a game in mid January and beyond. Somehow, someway, sneak in. It might not always be pretty - but neither is watching your best friend make out with a girl you want but never approached. In 2007 it was VERY obvious we had about as good a chance at a Super Bowl run as the Miami Caliente' - because neither squad was selling any playoff tickets that year. I still couldn't find it in me to go with the "lets tank the games to get a higher pick" thinking. As much as I might have let it creep into my mind - when toe met leather I craved a Phins win, meaningless or not. So keep winning Miami - put your name in the raffle - you can't win if you don't play. In a world where this married this - anything is possible.

Random stuff in closing :

- Last straw....They asked Matt Millen what makes a great wide receiver. That's it....I'm convinced HE pays THEM to be on TV. He has naked pictures of someone - only logical explanation.

- I went to the Heat game at 6pm after the Phins loss with a couple of great college buddies of mine - one of which I hadn't seen in half a decade. It seemed like the majority of fans at the game were wearing Phins gear - and they all had the same look on their face. It was like we all were walking to the parking lot from a wake. Just a bunch of people walking looking at the ground numb to their surroundings. Once inside though - the $17 crown and cokes seemed to raise the spirits. Big shout out to my boy Nando for that last beer before they stopped selling at the 4th quarter - that really hit the spot.

- Everyone is all up in arms because Tony Sparano had a "Les Miles clock management moment" and tried to call timeout after that INT before half - no harm no foul. I know what happened - he was SHOCKED we made a play there. It seems like every single hurry up drive an opponent has had this year either ended in a glorious TD for them - or on a 4th and goal at our 5. It all seemed to start with my infamous "what can happen in 8 seconds" comment against Indy - 40 yard pass - out of bounds - FG.....that's what. Looking back on that game, I'm just glad Peyton didn't throw a TD to some undrafted WR...then onside kick it himself with one second left.....recover it...and run in for another score himself.

- I wont harp on it, because it's obviously retarded, but is our late game 2 minute go to formation REALLY Pat White 2 yard runs? THAT IS WHEN we want him in? THAT IS why we drafted him? Speechless. Imagine if the pick after Pat White was Sean Smith - and we missed out on him. I looked back at the 2nd round from the last draft - amazingly not much stuck out to me. The pick being free....and us getting Smith in the same round.....is the only thing that is keeping that pick from being a reoccurring nightmare that haunts me at night like a Steven King flick.

 How is it possible that this man walks around the locker room - and we decide he shouldn't be one of the guys that plays regularly? KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!! Do YOU want to have a ball THIS man wants? Do YOU want to be the person with the chore of getting in front of him....instead of doing the logical thing your mind tells you...which is run....FAST....AWAY? He...makes plays. He....was probably one of the greatest pickups this regime has made. 8 other teams wanted him....and he picked us. When I have a child...I would totally feel safe having him play the role of Denzel Washington in the movie "Man on Fire." This is the kind of man you create in Madden, and he actually exists...and judging by this picture you DO NOT want to make him angry. They say he can't stop the run....I say SHEN..AN...IG.....ANS! He can stop a speeding bullet with his taint....I'm sure of it. This dude looks like he could stop a train with his jock strap wrapped around his bicep. Enough. PLAY THE EARTH-WAKE Cameron Wake...and play him often.

 Do you know who this dude is? This is the dude who comes up when you google search "Jason Allen." His name is actually Jason Alexander....and he is the dude who married Brittany Spears for those like 36 hours. That is what he is known for. The sad part is - that alone makes him more relevant than Mrs. Allen. I wanted to write something on how Jason Allen making special teams tackles just makes it worse than if he was gone....but I think the fact that Mr. Alexander comes up before him on google....speaks for itself. Seriously.....what...was......Saban.....doing?! Add to the matter....I remember Jason Allen was actually hurt pretty bad when we drafted him. All because Saban always liked him since the day he picked Tennessee over LSU....and "was familiar with his SEC suckass". This marks probably the last time I ever mention the meaningless Jason Allen....so to Jason I ask one final question before we part ways....

  This week I leave you with pictures of someone we need to recognize. A fine young lady I feel will go down as the finest Miami Cheerleader of all-time. She is an ex-FSU cowgirl/classmate, and quite possibly one of the few women in the world I would totally run away to Iraq with.....none other than the glorious Fabiola...this should cheer you up...enjoy..and as always....thanks for reading.

 Yup....I feel better.