That was pretty crappy - I ain't gonna lie. It's been a couple of days now - I think I can safely watch SportsCenter again. That Sean Payton interview can totally suck my balls - I'd rather watch the Jets/Raiders highlights. It was a tale of two halves. One that was amazing and one that made me want to kill myself. The late touchdown before the half felt like it was worth 40 points - I've never in my life hated being up two touchdowns more. But hey, at least we get the ball - SHENANIGANS!! If I told you I'd promise to cheer you up, would you read on? No? What - what do you want me to do then? No - I'm not doing it. I refuse to embarrass myself for your pathetic sick enjoyment any longer. Ughh - OK one more time - after the jump.

Deleted - Dolphinsbuffalo REQ.

( Nope....Not gonna )

  Who the hell wants to hear the billionth blogger on this site go into why we lost yesterday - not even I want to hear myself explain it. In a phrase, "We crapped in our pants" when in a situation good teams are used to. It reminded me of all those 90's Buffalo games - where you just knew somehow we would let them back in the game. In the live-blog as we drove down the field towards the end of the 1st half (Up freakin' 24-3) I said - "Let's just not do anything to get ourselves in trouble here. Be smart. Get a FG or run out the clock." Like I said - I refuse to go into what I think we should have or could have done - but what I will say is sometimes less is more. There is a reason GREED is one of "seven deadly sins." That first half was probably the best half of Miami Dolphins football I have ever seen - it was mesmerizing. There is a scale to my celebration after good Phins play - and that first half was in the red, nearing the first ever non-touching myself orgasm. Fins were DEFINITELY up in my pants - at one point I was just standing there naked giggling after touchdowns pouring Doritos all over my body - then coming back to the live blog to type nonsense in glee. Listen - I've said this before - no one feels sorry for you in life - and more so in the NFL. We as fans - and more importantly the team - need to take the good from Sunday and move on. Good teams lose games like this and come back like rabid animals even the Discovery Channel doesn't understand - let's do that shit - not whimper like a lost puppy. We all KNOW who sucks - I get sleep at night knowing and so does the front office. If you don't think they realize who sucks - you're kidding yourself. My best advice is to pull up your big boy pants - never let them see you sweat - and brush your shoulders off. 

HEY NATHAN JONES!!!!   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR9ZPSeDTH8

Mehhh....I gave up on working this video in....so just trust me....it'll make you feel A LOT better.

http://www.miamidolphins.com/aquavision/video/missy-0

  At first I was a little disappointed we played the Jets again SO SOON - but now I'm thinking it's exactly what the doctor ordered. What better team to play to totally get our mind off a tough loss? The last two times we have played these Jets - we have kicked the pedestal out from under them as they tried to put that star on the top of their "We are world beaters" Christmas tree. You know the games - last game of last season for the title and a few weeks ago when they felt they were in a different class. Just 24 hours after a 38-0 scrimmage win over the Raiders, their fans are already loud and proud on the South Florida radio stations again - some people just never learn from failure. You would think after the last game they would have given us our due respect - learned that games are won on the field - not with microphones in your face. Nope - they still have diarrhea of the mouth. They called a QB that just burned them a "clown." They called the Wildcat they couldn't come close to stopping a gimmick that doesn't belong in the NFL. They say they embarrassed THEMSELVES - and THEY made us look great. That's all fine and dandy - because I'm glad we play them this week - who better to take out a little frustration against? A win would make us 3-0 in the division - and seal the head to head tiebreaker if it matters down the road. Now they come in missing maybe their best player from each side of the ball - maybe it's Leon Washington's leg - but I smell blood.

  Old my ASS. THAT is the JT I know - and love (more than friends). Don't let the loss lessen your excitement about that box of porn labeled #99 - that's a baaaaaaaaad man. Both sacks forced fumbles - even on hurries he looked like a defensive MVP again. Unlike Joey Porter lately, JT smells when the team needs a play. The Redskins must be pissing themselves - we fleeced their asses. Granted we wasted their pick on Pat White - who I have ZERO confidence in taking a snap - but I'll take something for free any day. Sexy as all get out - JT is my favorite defensive Phin of all-time. Every time he makes a play, I thank my lucky stars we got a chance to root for him again - it nearly ended in a much different way. Whatever happens from here on out - we again got a chance to cheer for a guy we will be honoring for years to come - and I get to look into his dreamy eyes while I think about his bald head again. 

  Am I the only person that still has "I can't believe Ricky Williams is back" thoughts? It's a feeling I can't even explain - it's like marrying and deeply loving a girlfriend that in High School cheated on me with my best friend. I don't know how much you hated Ricky at the time he quit - but I hated him as much as you can hate someone you don't know. I still can remember to this day waking up for my 6am job - logging on to check my email before I jetted out the door - and reading the headline "Williams Quits Football." The 3 seconds It took to load the page were the longest seconds of my life. I thought to myself "OMFG - please let it be like Roy Williams or something." When the nightmare was confirmed I woke up my roommate and told him the hideous news. When I got home later in the day we took my Ricky bobblehead - placed it on the deck by our pool - and went upstairs to shoot it with a paintball gun. I know MULTIPLE people that burned his jersey. I cursed him anytime he was interviewed or tried to explain himself. I hated his ass. Now even without the dreads - that #34 just does something to me when it gets going. You know a dude is fast when the numbers on the field go by faster than you can make them out. I'll admit - I gave up on Ricky - and I'm not proud of it. It's like my first year at FSU again (2002) - watching JT and Ricky star for us.

 WTF is Boomer Esiason's effin' problem? I will shove his game sheet directly up his corn hole if he doesn't STFU. This Sunday I watched the CBS halftime show - something I normally don't do because of this exact thing. Boomer kept talking over Dan's highlights - finally Dan said "Can someone get him out of here? Get your own highlight!" He said it in that way you know he really means - "Eat a bag of dicks, Boomer." Right after all this happened - Dan was to call a short TD run - all the sudden Boomer chimes in "and he takes it in for the score!" - all loud. Dan was silent. Silent like ninja ready to jump through a window into your face. First of all - only complete ASSHOLES have the nickname "Boomer" - and even bigger assholes actually go by it daily. I believe that's his real name - which makes his father an asshole - and him a pussy. I'm callin' you out, Boomer - when I'm done with you it will be like throwing a hot dog down an hallway when you go to take a shit. You mess with Football Jesus - you get the horns. Let's not forget who we are talking about here - not exactly Joe Montana. Boomer has as many Super Bowls as Dan - so he can't talk about what it takes to win anything. Dan deserves a better show - I wish he would join the NFL Network or something. Less people might see it now - but most of those guys are professionals and treat each other and the game with the respect it deserves. Until then - we wait for Dan to SNAP!

Random Rapid Fire in closing -

- Bob Griese. Made a 3rd grade joke. Said I'm sorry. It's not like he had sex with a male cameraman in a bathroom. Leave him alone - you've said worse.

- Speaking of the Griese's - Brian Griese sounds EXACTLY like his dad. Ethan Skolnick said the same thing on his Twitter - he was fooled until halftime. It's almost creepy how similar they sound.

- I bet the over in the Phins game - I normally don't touch their games - because my heart talksm not my head. I just KNEW we would score on them - everyone has basically. I also was pretty confident they would score at least 25+. It was 48. I nearly bet them -7 - which was in reach with 1 play left in garbage time. The "not set" penalty ended the game - and I've already heard gamblers pissed on the radio. That's why you don't bet on your team.

- American Idol winner Chris Allen performed before the game - I know of 4 girls that went just for that. Looks like Ross isn't as dumb as I thought - he knows how to put asses in seats.

- Who the bleep watches Pro Wrestling these days - show yourself. It's fake - your a loser. Think about what your doing - your watching oiled up buff dudes act out a play on top each other. There is NO SPORT - it's all bullshit. NASCAR and golf are as far as I venture from the norm myself - a random Florida Panthers game if I'm feeling like just getting drunk and yelling random things in public. It's not like I don't get it - I loved it when I was a kid. I also loved my BMX bike and trading Donruss baseball cards - but you don't see me doing that anymore. GOOD GOD - get a life!

- Yeaaaaa - Basketball season. Yeaaaaa - more depression. Yeaaaaaa - the Heat pay Jermaine O'Neal $23 million a year to grab 2 rebounds in 23 minutes. Yeaaaa - first round exits to the Atlanta Hawks!

- I'd like to see SHAQ vs. Brock Lesnar. It would be like watching a fight between the bad guys in a 1990's Nintendo game. Lesnar would actually be the small dude - can you imagine that? It would be like watching a Polar Bear fighting a Crocodile on 2 ft - shit would BLOW your mind.

So in closing - give me credit - I kept it pretty positive. It's not like I went down the roster going.....

  In reality, we are all a group of greedy, whiny little girls with a broken heart - we SHOULD expect there to be growing pains. What do we expect from these people? They revamped the entire team as fast as any organization EVER has - we were the worst team in the NFL 18 months ago. Look at the future they set for us - an entire new offensive line - that has provided the NFL's #1 Rushing Attack thus far this season - and in my opinion is Super Bowl caliber in attitudede and talent. A franchise QB. Bookend future Pro Bowl corners. A slot WR any team would start tomorrow - for free. A solid kicking game for years to come. Last but not least - an excitement to Sundays that was dying slowly in this area. The fact that we EXPECTED to have that lead - and hold that lead - against a team like the 2009 Saints is the story in itself. These Saints play the 2007 Phins - and It's cirque de Brees until Sean Payton decided he wanted to go home. This team is an ass kicking robot in the making - being tested every Sunday by the nutty professor. I see the vision - and it's sick as shit. You know it - I know it - Matty knows it - Gang Green knows it - even new owner Fergie knows it. (OMFG...Fergie....owns.....some Dolphins.....think about how unfair that it is....anyway). If you're too damn impatient to let the damn Cha-Cha-Cha Chia grow - then go to Home Depot and pick out a potted plant (AKA go buy a Steelers hat). Relax - guess who's shopping for a HUGE WR in next years draft? WE ARE! Guess who is on most of our mock drafts - "Mount Cody". Right now were just that younger brother letting it all hangout in a fist fight with older siblings - it's just not enough - we're outmatched in too many areas. Give it a minute - I have a feeling this organization will be handing out retaliation ass kickings soon enough.