This past Monday was a beautiful day. It was a monumentus day. It marked the first day of the rest of our lives. Well, maybe not so dramatic for you all as Phins fans, but for me the drama is real. My son was finally born after almost 91/2 months of shamming out in the womb. He came out kicking and screaming, and i think he called an audible on the way out too. The measurements, 8lbs 8ounces and 20" long. The report from the Wife Combine says he is long and has "strong arms". Future HOF'er, i feel it. Seeing as how he now shares a birthday with someone who's mind we've all been inside of, i expect presents from uncle Rzayo24 every year. Happy birthday Dante, welcome to the world.
Some of you might have noticed i posted a Chill Pill earlier and deleted it. Yeah, im not sure why either, it just didnt feel right. I think it was the fact that NFL game rewind had'nt posted the phins game yet. I was pissed cuz i wanted to watch that shiest again and i couldnt. Well, now ive watched it again and im all full of the dickens.
This game seriously got me pumped. No its not all the N.O. explode and protein shakes ive been drinking, its the revived Miami dolphins. We still have the same team. The same team that lost to Atlanta, Indy, and San Diego. The same team that was 0-3 2 weeks ago. Oh what a difference 2 weeks makes. Our season is playing out the way our games play out. We are getting better as we go. People in the know were saying our team needed to "gel". (i hate that freakin term, more so that i have to use it now) Well this team is more jelly than two hot bitches wrestling in an inflatable pool. We're beyond K.Y. We've hit astro glide status. Even against a tough S.O.B like the Jets Jenkins, we got it done. And believe me, after watching the game again, that guy is one scary mother. Anyone who can manhandle Jake Grove and Donald Thomas at the same time deserves all the kudos you can give him. Why do you think Jake Grove got called for a false start? Thats right, he had a mouthful of Jenkins all night.
What didnt get me pumped was tackling. I love Sean Smith, and dont get me wrong he made some plays, but he needs to work on his open field tackling. He went for a one armed tackle that could only be described as a whiff. And its not just our Defensive backs, i saw guy like JT and Peezy miss tackles. All three of the aforementioned defenders did make up for their shortcomings with big plays at other points in the game though. Now we all know why Leon Washington makes Matty feel just a little uncomfortable. Yeah thats my penis. This little guy knifed through our defensive front better than any other opposing rushers this year. Vontae Davis has alot of work to do on his coverage. That long near TD pass to Braylon Edwards had me scratching my head. Isnt Davis the big physical CB we drafted this year? He did this one armed, turning away from the defender move that made me wonder. Time to get serious Vonate. What can i say about Channing Crowder? At least he stepped it up in the game that meant the most to his trash talking. Good job?
How about that QB? That one who is so bad that it took a terrible defensive performance from the Jest to make him look like Dan Marino. Yeah, thats what it was Rex. 130.4 passer rating, 2 td's and no Int's. Rex Ryan needs to do exactly what this kid is doing. I hope Chad is taking the entire offensive line, both tight ends, all 4 RB's and all his recievers to Ruths Chris steakhouse tomorrow night. On the TD pass to Ginn, Henne actually pulled out his phone and tweeted to teddy that the ball was gonna land right over his shoulder. Don't believe me? Go watch it, dont worry, l'll wait. He really had that much time to throw the ball. And i guess he figured he didnt have to look off the safety because Ted Ginn is just that fast. He just stared him down, waited for him to get past the defenders and let it fly. Im not gonna lie, that play made me a little uneasy. Well, at the time it happened it didnt, but after watching again it did, and heres why: 1-QB's rarely get away with staring a guy down that long. 2-QB's dont always have 2 days and a wake up to make a throw. So does Henne still have to work out the new guy kinks? Sure. But does he look good so far? Absolutely.
I think there is a consesus so far with the new MNF announcers. Im pretty much on board. Jon Gruden, good job. Ron Jaworski on the other hand, i hate you. This dude is seriously annoying. I almost cant believe that he ever played professional football. Its like he's making things up as he goes. He agrees with the PI calls, he thought Sanchez had a reciever near the ball on the intentional grounding call. What a retard, seriously, do we have to stomach this guy every monday night for the rest of the season?? Jaws, i hate your face.
Time to close this thing out. Fellow Phinsiders, i know you are asking me "Medic, where is our team right now". Well, hold your heads high. Our Miami Dolphins are back in the thick of things. We're way into contention for the AFC east. We are back on the blips and radars of opposing coaches right now. I cant even imagine how badly defensive coordinaters are shitting themselves just thinking about preparing for the wildcat. The lights that light the road this season just got a little brighter. This game was the boost we needed, not only to get back in the race for the east, but to get the team back into it mentally. I doubt theres a player on the Phins right now who doesnt think they can win 11 more games.
I couldnt have asked for a better Monday, i got my son, and i got a Miami Dolphins win on MNF against the Jucking Fets!!
For the record: I can't let Rizzy soil the good name of Wolf Pussy. He has somehow been saying it with negative connotations. Ladies and gentelmen, Wolf Pussy is that sweet smell of a freshly fired weapon. It smells like fourth of July, but more pungent and dangerous. Wolf Pussy is tough, its manly. Landshark Stadium STILL reeks of Wolf Pussy and the Jucking Fets cant stand it. That pass from Henne to Ginn was basted in it. Wolf Pussy?? I LOVE IT. BRING ON THE WOLF PUSSY!!!!