First I would like to say "Happy Holidays" to everyone. Whatever it is you celebrate, celebrate it like all hell. That being said, drop your pants and do the "naked-robot," because booyakashot CP10 did it again! Yeah, maybe it's cold. Yeah, maybe our defense gave up 500 yards.Yeah, maybe things didn't look good for a minute. Yeah, maybe go "bleep youself" with that noise, says CP10! You don't just turn down the thermostat, score a couple touchdowns, and beat CP10. Opponents, do you even understand at this point what CP10 will do to you? If not, checkout the new movie "7 pounds." It's all about the weight of what's in CP10's jockstrap.
Everybody gather around the fire. Get your little plaid blankets, and hot chocolate and sit down around me. I have a Christmas story to tell. Once upon a time, there was this little boy, only 29 years old. He loved the Dolphins oh so very much. But his Dolphins started 2-4, and this tiny little infant 29 year old boy was sad. He didn't know which way to turn his boyish little head. He then came up with an idea only Santa could have thought of and sent to him! Santa told this little boy to sleep naked the night before the Phins games, and by Christmas the Phins would be in 1st place! He said he would be watching to see if he was "naughty or nice." This innocent little 29 year old baby precious glimmer of christmas spirit did like Santa said, and the Miami Dolphins went on to win 8 of 9 games. THE END. Merry Christmas Rzayo24!
Really? Really - your gonna try to tackle me? Look at this face. Really? You wanna ride this train buck-o? Really? Just jump on my back, c'mon. Bring your friends, ewww yeah that feels good. Yeahhhh - somebody jump on my neck! Ohhh!! Thank you! NOW GET THE HELL OFF OF ME....RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!! BANG!!! DIP YOUR ASS HERE, FLING YOU SORRY ASS THERE!! TOUCHDOWN!! "
DOUBLE PICTURE BONANZA!!!! ARE WE DOING THIS????
"Hi, I'm Matt Roth. Hahahahaha peanut butter. I'm gonna go get the quarterback, ok? Be right back. Hahahahahaha, I stopped the 4th and 1! Slap hands! Slap hands! Hahahahahaha I want ice cream. Sparano, how many quarters again? 4, oh yeah thats right 4.
I have NEVER in my LIFE been more pumped up by a fat man. When we get a first down, and I look over at him doing a "1st down pose," I get goosebumps on my goosebumps. Finally a coach with a passion for the game! Finally, a guy I can believe wants it like he needs it. Look at Tony Sparano's fire for the game. Do I need to post a picture to remind you? Fine.......
This is the man I'm rollin' with. You get whoever you want. Vince Lombardi can come back from the grave, I'm rollin' with Tony. Anyone - that includes Bill Parcells. This guy is legit, people. L-E-G-I-T. Don't get it twisted, don't forget the name, TONY SPARANO. That, my friends, is who coaches my football team.
Random rapid fire from around the NFL in closing:
Falcons, your such a copy-cat. Why don't you find your own season to make a historical comeback. Geesh, so rude! Are the Raiders playing anymore? Who did they play last week? I seriously think they stopped playing. Huh. NBC, your such a bunch of douchelberries. Matty don't try to spell check that word, I made it up. Trent Edwards, why couldn't you have played last week? Broncos = Choking. Chargers win this game on Sunday by 3 TDs. Kershaw activation....and fumble forced. Seriously? What the hell is going on? Haynos is tall.....we get it. No. NO. Do not do that. Never again. Feed the Lousaka Monster!!!!
And now for my present to all of you.....Happy Holidays!!
'Twas the night before the Christmas, when all through the house
Not a 4th place team was stirring, not even close;
The points were hung on the scoreboard, the Wildcat gave a scare
In hopes that the playoffs somehow would be there;
The Phins fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Penningtons danced in their heads;
And Dad in his Phins jersey, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's "holy crap!",
When out on the lawn there arose such a "go phins!" clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what the "Dan Marino!" was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a Ted Ginn Jr. flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the (wan)stash.
The moon on the breast of the new-coach, some Sparano Fellow
Gave a mid-season luster and a late season win streak of 4-0 Hello!,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a bad-ass team, that brings my eyes to a tear,
With a little CP10, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment his play made my heart go..............tick. : ) (so good)
More wins than the Jets, Bills wins as easy as they came,
And Parcells whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, D-Bessie! Now, Ronnie! Now, Joey and Crowder!
On, Will Allen! On Andre Goodman! On Yeremiah Bell and Merling - GET LOUDER!
To the top of the AFC East! To the top of the division!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!....the JETS hopes!"
As dry leaves that before the Pennington Touchdown passes fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, and seemingly jump over them in the sky,
So up to the house-top of the AFC East they flew,
With the schedule full of wins, and the best turnaround too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little Wildcat hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Patrick Cobbs came with a bound.
He was dressed all in aqua, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ice and soot;
A bundle of speed he had flung the ball on his back,
And he looked like hall of famer just 44 yards later he opened his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His lil tiny body, little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the ball in his arm was white as the snow;
The stump of Sparano's pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face, sunglasses, man-cho shirt and a little round belly,
That shook, when he said "1st down!" like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, and said "Thank God!" to myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his Italian head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his playbook,
And filled all the standings with wins; then turned with a "believe in the code" jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the standings we rose;
He sprang to his feet, to his Dolphins gave a whistle,
And away they all flew down the field, 10 wins is a reality...fo shizzle'.
But I heard him exclaim, as the team plane flew out of sight,
"The season doesn't end in the Meadowlands, no no, not Sunday night!"
Mission 1W. Meadowlands. Are we doing this? Happy Holidays to all my fellow Phins fans. If you like where we are, wait till you see where we are going. If your blood isn't pumping come 4:15pm Sunday December 28th, 2008, then your not alive. This is why I'm a Miami Dolphins fan.