Buffalo Jokes

A man named Jim from Buffalo dies and is sent to Hell. He had been a wicked, horrible man his entire life. The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledge hammer. To make it worse, he cranks up the temperature and the humidity.

After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as Jim is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune. The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've turned the heat way up, it's humid, you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?"

Jim, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Buffalo. Hot, humid, plus I always loved demolishing old buildings! This is fantastic!"

The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder Jim's remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with rain blowing into his eyes, Jim is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks. Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions.

Jim replies, "This is great! Just like April in Buffalo. It reminds me of landscaping all of my beautiful Rite-Aids!"

The devil is now completely baffled but more determined to make Jim suffer. He makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly Hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will surely make Jim unhappy, the devil checks in on him. He is again aghast at what he sees. Jim is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.

"How can you be so happy? Don't you know its 40 below zero?" screams the devil. Jumping up and down, Jim throws a snowball at the devil and yells, "Hell's frozen over!! This means the Bills won the Super Bowl!"

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SPRING BREAK IN MEXICO

Three NFL players go down to Mexico in the offseason to party. They spend the entire time drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did all week.

The first one, a Miami Dolphin, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if he has any last words.

He says, "I am a Christian and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for his forgiveness, and release him.

The second one, also a Miami Dolphins, is strapped in and gives hos last words, "I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for his forgiveness, and release him.

The last one, a Buffalo Bill, is strapped in and says, "Well, I went to schoo at Buff State and graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

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Ronnie Brown was riding home in his limousine when he saw two Buffalo Bills fans along I-95 eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to pull over and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We do not have money for food," the Bills fan replied.

"Well, then, you must come with me to my house," Brown said.

"Sir, I have a wife and two children with me."

"Bring them along," Ronnie replied. Turning to the other Bills fan, he urged, "You come with us also."

The second Bills fand then, in a pitiful voice said, "Sir, I also have a wife and we have six children!"

"Bring them all as well," Ronnie answered.

They all piled the car, which was no easy task, even for a vehicle as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the fans turned to the Ronnie and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

Ronnie replied, "Glad to do it. You will love my place. The grass is almost a foot high

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Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and Cheerios?

A: Cheerios belongs in a bowl.

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Q: What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?

A: Four Bills Fans watching a football game.

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Q: Why does Jim Kelly eat his cereal from a plate?

A: Because he's lost all four of his bowls.

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A diehard Fins fan amuses himself by scaring every Buffalo Bills fan he sees strutting down the street in their obnoxious Buffalo tee shirts. He swerves his van as if to hit them, and then swerves back just missing them.

One day, while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest "Where are you going Father?" "I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in Father, I'll give you a lift!" said the man.

The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Bills fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back into the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed he guy, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced back in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest and he turned to the priest and said "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Bills fan." "That's okay," replied the priest, "I got him with the door

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Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?

A: Because her boyfriend played for the Buffalo Bills

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